Every four years, something phenomenal transpires. Something astounding. Something downright bed-shaking.
I’m talking, of course, about my neighbours, who go on a neighbourhood-waking romp every 29th of February.
Just kidding. They actually romp every night. Around the park.
Anyway, as I was saying, something phenomenal transpires every four years. I’m talking, of course, about the World Cup, a grandiose event in which hundreds of players convene on a pitch and participate in a wholesome group ball-chasing event. The team which secures the most balls will win the trophy, an even bigger ball that’s distinctly gold-plated. #bestsynopsisever
And indeed, it’s a sport loved by many people, who want nothing more than to see 22 men chase after a single ball when they could have two elsewhere. But there’s just one minor complication.
What chips should they get?
See, football is fun, but munching on chips accentuates the experience. In fact, I would say that they go practically hand in hand, and the World Cup wouldn’t really be the WC if there were no chips (really, it should just be called the World Chips).
If you’re facing this brain-splitting dilemma, no sweat; I got just the thing for you. Having used up 69 years of my life travelling this vast land we call Singapore, I’ve searched every nook and cranny for the best ball-saavy, experience-enhancing potato chips in town, and thus come up with the 10 Best Chips You Absolutely Have To Get In Singapore This World Cup.
Now, here’s a disclaimer: have them in moderation. The sodium contents in them aren’t exactly approved by your friendly neighbourhood GP, though instant noodles fare worse. Just take a look at how much sodium instant noodles have in a video that we’ve done:
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Got past that stage now? Okay, so without further ado, let’s get the romp on the road.
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1. Real McCoy Snackfood Co.
I have no idea who McCoy is, but I really don’t care when its potato chips are this good.
Sporting crinkle cuts that are remniscent of Ruffles, except lighter and airier, these are chips that will get you going on, even when the team you bet on is trailing by like 29 goals.
2. Tyrrell’s Hand-Cooked English Crisps
Potato chips might be good, but they are devilishly so. Each serving, apart from dishing up a hefty amount of pleasure and goodness, also comes with a wicked number of sodium particles that will get your face all puffed up like an actual match ball.
And while that’s entirely acceptable if you’re camping in for the entire World Cup tournament it’s not fine if you’re going out with your significant other the next day.
But what can you do? Tasty potato chips are overloaded with sodium, but chips with less sodium taste like paper. There’s no mixing the both.
Or wait, is there?
It seems that Tyrrell is out to prove a point, as its hand-cooked lightly sea salted English crisps aren’t just healthier in a sense, but tasty to boot!
As the name suggests, the chips are hand-cooked (maybe other chips are leg-cooked, I don’t know) and lightly sea salted, so that you can enjoy some good chips without bursting your daily sodium limit.
And just putting it out there, but the other flavours aren’t bad either.
Although I just wanna say that the limited sodium content probably doesn’t apply to the rest of the packets.
3. Calbee Crispy Potato Original
Calbee might be known for its Hot & Spicy combo, but boy, there’s just nothing better than watching a football game with chips just going crunch, crunch, crunch in your mouth. And what a good job Calbee’s Crispy Potato Original does at that for years.
Crisp, thoroughly well-seasoned and impossibly light, one packet will soon leave you craving for moar.
4. Twisties Chipster Potato Chips
If you want some really good quality potato chips, Twisties Chipster’s your bookie. And by that I don’t mean that the other chips on this list suck, but rather Twisties Chipster just has that… special vibe.
As a general rule of thumb, a good packet of potato chips should satisfy three different cravings at once: salty, delish and indulgence. But strangely, a good packet seems rarer than seeing Trump and Kim Jong Un dance together in matching ballerina outfits. Not impossible, but rare. Very rare.
But what do you know? We might just see Trump and Kim Jong Un in body-hugging outfits, as Twisties Chipster Potato Chip just so happens to be that packet. A good pack of potato chips.
Salty, delish and indulgent at the same time, the chips will leave you wanting for more with every bite. A fact no doubt attributed to its copious amounts of seasoning, but hey we don’t mind one bit.
5. Royce Potato Chip Chocolate
If ever there was a weirdest potato chip combo award, Royce will take it. Hands down; no argument whatsoever. Like really, cheese chocolate potato chips? What was the creator smoking when he/she thought of that? Frozen rice puffs?
Yet somehow, incredibly, it works.
Granted, the first bite might leave you feeling distinctly salty and confused, but as you get used to the taste you just start to appreciate all the myriads of flavours present in a single cold chip.
An almost unnoticeable hint of cheese, followed by the creamy taste of white chocolate with a salty tinge of potato chips. Damn, what a combee.
Need some cold chips to munch on during games? Royce is your man.
It would be a near abomination to leave Ruffles out of this list, seeing how it’s such a staple part of our childhood (as well as the name of my friend’s sister’s sibling’s friend’s dog). And I’m not going to commit such fallacy, as Ruffles has officially been instilled as no.6 on the list.
Boasting consistent thickness that outrivals an ageing man’s hair, as well as the right amount of seasoning, Ruffles is one side chip you want to have sitting on your lap this World Cup.
There’s more air in a packet of Lay’s crisps than the entirety of Singapore – someone who didn’t get laid
Alright so admittedly that someone didn’t actually say that, and even if he did it was probably out of a sense of resignation/spite, but the quote stands. Like, have you seen the countless memes about Lay’s?
Nevertheless, Lay’s still deserves a mention because of sheer taste and familiarity. After all, like that bad boyfriend you’ve sworn to break up with like a thousand times…
You just can’t get tired of it despite its flaws.
And not to mention it’s part of our childhood. We all love familiarity; for all you know, your great grandfather could have Lay’s when Singapore won the World Cup in 1817.
8. Kettle brand
Lest you’re unaware, a kettle boils water. And while this particular Kettle doesn’t boil water (don’t know; never tried)…
It does churn out a good packet of chips.
While Kettle’s a pretty versatile brand, in the sense that its flavours are all consistently good, special mention has to be given to its sea salt variant, especially if you’re the kind that prefers no added substances and all that shit.
9. Irvin’s Salted Egg Potato Chips
You thought you’ll never see Irvin’s again, did you? Well, you’re wrong.
My neighbour once told me that he can go without water during the World Cup, but not without salted egg potato chips. And while I’m no Stephen Hawking (R.I.P), I totally get why.
He wants to accentuate the whole salty experience when his team loses.
And indeed, there’s really no better chips brand to get you all salty than Irvin’s Salted Egg Potato Chips.
Packed with salted egg and erm… potato chip goodness, Irvin’s might not sweeten up your World Cup experience, but he sure is good at making it an egg-licious one.
Maybe your wallet won’t agree, but your stomach definitely would.
10. Golden Duck Salted Egg Potato Chips
But let’s face it; Irvin’s isn’t exactly pasar malam fare. It might be as salty as Ramly Burger’s fries, but it’s nowhere as cheap.
And if you’ve subscribed to the World Cup package, you’re probably not the richest man on Earth, so to speak. The rich ones go all the way to Russia.
As such, you will need a viable, less costlier yet arguably as good or just slightly below the bar alternative to Irvin’s. And boy, do I have just the one.
Meet Golden Duck, the supermarket’s answer to Irvin’s Salted You Not As Atas As Me Potato Chips.
Granted, it might not taste quite as rich and tantalising as Irvin’s, but as far as supermarket salted egg chips go, Golden Duck has got my vote.
And my mum likes it too, so that’s pretty much a plus point. #mumrules
World Cup Fever
With the World Cup hype reaching fever pitch, you’ll undoubtedly let yourself go and just snack on all the chips you can find. And while that’s acceptable once in a while and all, please don’t go overboard and match the hype with your own body temperature. Because if there’s one thing I’m sure of; it sucks to be sick.
So watch your body, because you will need it functional to really enjoy the games. #takeitfromamanwithapast
On an ending note, happy World Cup 2018, and may the best team win.
On another ending note, may England win.
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