9 shits every 90s kid remember about da cane. Yeah, DA CANE.

Violence is never the solution to any problem. However, Asian society has given the sole exclusive right to violence to the people with the noblest role: the parents.

Caning is not for everyone. It is not for infants, as they do not understand what is going on. It is not for the adults, who are mature and who have their own set of values.

It is for the people who have just begun to understand the world, who have just begun to explore. It is for the kids who half understand, who have difficulty understanding a long and thorough explanation of right and wrong. Feeling the pain when a wrong was done is the most effective way to put a child in his place.

Although we know it is for our own good, the memory is still a very unpleasant one.

Hanging terror
If your parents used the kind of cane with the colourful hook at one end, then you would remember the cane being hanged somewhere in the house and being the constant reminder of the hell that would befall if you decided to be mischievous.

Buying canes
We all hate it and now we still think our parents are psychopaths for asking us what colour we want for the new cane. Now, it seems like finding one would be the pain in the ass instead.

Fighting the urge to run
It is natural to want to escape when faced with a threat, but we know that avoiding being caned will only result in more caning, so we fight the urge to run and just accept a number of strokes we’re given.

We are all familiar with this. For every mark short of full marks in the spelling test, we are entitled to one stroke of the cane.

Broken cane
Despite crying and wincing in pain, sometimes we feel proud of ourselves for being so tough when the cane was broken when it hit us.

Swishing sound
We all remember the sound of the swishing cane when our parents are “warming up” and getting the motion right before caning. It is the scariest few seconds of childhood. Sometimes, that lasted for ten seconds and it felt like ten hours of psychological pain.

Missing and hitting legs
For some unknown reasons, being caned at the back of the thighs is much more painful than being caned in the butt. So when they missed and hit the legs instead, it is pure agony. And for some reason, despite our butt being so much bigger…they often missed.

Sometimes we are made to count the number of strokes we are given. Another reason to think that our parents are psychopaths. And very, very often, that was when we aced our maths.

Throwing the cane away
Sometimes we are so done with that shit and to avoid being caned another time after seeing our spelling results, we just throw the cane away. We forget to consider the fact that each cane costs probably 50 cents and could be bought just downstairs. At least, they used to be found everywhere.

Them saying it hurts them more
Our parents like to say caning us hurts them more than it hurts us. Till today, we still think it is utter bullshit. But wait till you’ve become a parent yourself…and maybe you won’t cane at all, because #helicopter.

Since you’re here, why not watch a video about a guy who lodged a Police report here in Singapore because he was friendzoned? Seriously. Here, watch it and do remember to share it (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel)!

This article was first published on goodyfeed.com in 2016 and revised on 10 Oct 2017.

Goody Feed Team

Goody Feed Team

The Goody Feed Team comprises either several in-house writers or an individual in-house writer who prefers to stay anonymous. The reason to stay anonymous is simple: a writer won’t want his girlfriend to read an article like “10 things boyfriends hate about their girlfriends”, right?
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