Another NUS Whisper Saga, This Time About a ‘Materialistic’ GF That Some Netizens Disagree

Sigh.

And here I am, hoping I won’t have to write about this topic. Why? Besides the fact that I’m a lazy person, I also believe that one shouldn’t really be pointing fingers in a relationship—unless your significant other is really a complete asshole.

Anyway, I think it would be better for you guys to read the post for yourselves just so you can form an opinion and perhaps, decide who to side with.

Oh and, in case the post gets removed, here’s the entire copy pasta:

(Warning! Wall of text incoming)

“My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months now, and before yesterday, I thought she was the one. We met at the end of Year 3, and seeing how soon graduation is, we talked about plans of moving in, marriage, kids, whatnot. Nothing committal, just making sure that our views on those potentially big issues align, and if not, potentially compromise.

She looked visibly upset out of the blue, so I asked her why. After some coaxing, she said that we might not be compatible. She said that I am very stingy when it comes to treating her, while she has always been very generous. She said that our different views on money will eventually make us really unhappy in a relationship, and she wondered if it’s worth it for us to continue to date.

At that point I was very puzzled, since we’ve gone dutch when we travelled, and when it comes to meals, I’ll buy her a meal and she’ll buy me the next. I pressed her to elaborate, and she brought up examples of the gifts that she bought me—and how my gifts, in contrast, cost less. She said that I’m either blissfully unaware of the price difference or is a stingy person and does not know how to treat her well. What hurt me the most, was her mention of the birthday gift i got her. She mentioned that she was taken aback by how inexpensive it is. She told me that her friends agreed with her opinion too, that it was “better not to give” than to give such an inexpensive item.

I asked her what her ideal situation would be, and she said that she just wanted us to be “approximately equal” when it comes to paying money. I’m confused: careful with my finances, I’m fairly certain that we’ve paid about the same, and in some occasions i’ve even paid more but didn’t mention (e.g those occasional uber/grab rides that I don’t ask her for when we go for movies) because I don’t really care.

So it makes me wonder: is she really unaware of the fact that we’re already equal? If so, moving forward, how do I make her realize that in terms of money paid, we’re about the same?

I wonder: if she truly is as generous as what she said, why would she bother with the minute differences of the value of gifts that I’m buying for her? She says she wants to be equal, but does she really mean that I should treat her like a princess and splurge on her?

I think I’m really hurt and disappointed by what happened in the past day. I don’t want to label her as materialistic, since I’ve never felt that she was such a person, until what she told me yesterday. It’s just so strange that she could be one person in the past few months and all of a sudden leave such a bad taste in my month. I don’t know how to move forward from here. Any thoughts?”

TL;DR: Guy thinks his girlfriend is materialistic and is taken aback by her words, but seriously, just read the whole post to get a better idea

• Girlfriend thinks guy is not equal in paying for dates
• She felt that the items her boyfriend bought were “inexpensive” and her friends thought so too,and that it was “better not to give” than to give such an inexpensive item
• She said that he’s either blissfully unaware of the price difference or is a stingy person and does not know how to treat her well
• Girlfriend said she just wanted them to be “approximately equal” when it comes to paying money
• Guy said he’s fairly certain that they’ve paid about the same
• In some occasions, he has even paid more but didn’t mention (e.g those occasional uber/grab rides)
• Guy wonders how he can make her realize that in terms of money paid, they’re about the same
• Guy is disappointed and has the incident has left a bad taste in his mouth

Thoughts and views

I had to put a subheading coz’ things were getting a little messy back there.

I’m not sure about you guys, but I think one thing is certain in their relationship.

The communication is lacking.

Personally, I believe communication to be one of the most important things in a relationship. Everyone is made differently, and we all have different views on life. If you have issues with something your significant other is doing, voice it out.

Don’t allow the issues to grow and fester within you. It’s not going to be healthy for either party.

Anyway, let’s take a look at what the netizens have to say (Oh boy here we go)

…And here we go, the first comment and it’s a sweeping statement(from a guy) with a sh*tload of assumptions.

Allow me to ask my female colleagues about their thoughts on this guy’s comment.

“Generalizing statement. This person just assumed that all girls are the same. I don’t like how he’s using words and phrases like “Fact”, “female psychology” and “deserve to be forever alone”

“Everyone’s different. Things like this should be assessed on a case by case basis. And he is an assistant prof? This is a great example of what that’s wrong with our education system”

And there we have it. I believe I don’t need to elaborate on this.

Moving on, let’s take a look at the other comments.

Looks like some of them actually share similar views with most of us here in the office:

Hmm, I wonder what the “inexpensive item” the guy gave the girl was.

…And the list of comments goes on and on. Just go to the Facebook Page if you would like to be part of the saga.

Well, I’m actually too lazy to take part in something like this. All my colleagues, on the other hand, are fervently talking about this topic right now.

I’ll let you guys know again if there are any interesting updates.

For now, let’s just sit back and see if the comments section blows up.

Always quarrel with your bae? Then you need to watch this video and learn this trick on how to resolve arguments without any compromise or apology (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel):

This article was first published on goodyfeed.com

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Featured image: NUSWhispers Facebook