Hi friends, I regret to inform you that I’m leaving Goody Feed soon because I just applied for another job.
It’s not an easy job because I get to eat pizzas all day, every day.
A pizza place in England is looking for someone to eat pizzas all day long.
I get to surround myself with like-minded people, those who love pizzas, all things pizza inspired.
I don’t have to worry about breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper anymore because pizza is provided. Like free-flow.
Best. Job. Ever.
But then, we said that about the beer tasting job too so…
Anyway, here’s what you have to be able to do in order to qualify for the job.
1. Endless Bank of Vocabulary
You know when I was young, hmm younger… *ahem*, my English teacher would force me to keep an exercise book, she said it’s a bank. A bank where you don’t find money but words. Pages and pages of it.
I guess I have to thank her for instilling that in me because… Who knew that would be useful now when I’m all grown up and became a writer.
Not just eating, I get to flip those old pages of vocabulary goodness from my exercise book and use them when I provide feedback to the head chef.
You can’t just say it tastes “okay” or “it’s not bad” when you provide your feedback. There’s something more to it, and I can’t tell you.
2. Demonstrate your love for pizzas
I just submitted my application so I can show it to you guys.
After years of research, million, zillion and trillion times of secret tastings behind closed doors, I finally found my true calling.
It was hard work definitely. My mum told me I started tasting tomato bases since I was a baby and she saw the real reason why God gave me life.
I finally found my dream job, and get to present my findings to the company of my dreams.
Here it is, I humbly present it to you.
I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sincerely sorry if I did. I’m just passionate beyond descriptions.
Pizza is life.
It’s the sole reason why I’m still living and breathing.
3. Willing to relocate
Not everyone’s willing to travel to a faraway land just to taste pizzas.
You may not be, but I am ready. All set to leave my parents, sisters and pup in Singapore.
I’m making the necessary arrangements to travel to Somerset, England, where the company is based in.
I’ll be leaving at the end of this year, just in time for Christmas. Christmas pizzas.
And get to update my LinkedIn to my latest job title: Professional Pizza Taster
I know I was made for this.
Maybe I’ll get to find my soulmate there. We could have a pizza-themed wedding.
Think pizza wedding cake.
We will get pizza wedding rings too.
It would be so much fun.
Sorry, I went off track a little. Just, too in love with pizzas.
If you think you have what it takes, go ahead and send in your application here.
I wish you all the best, mate, though I know I’ll be the one most suited for this job.
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