The Fashion Police were called in when these Crocs made their entrance

Fashion’s supposed to be quirky. Unique. Charismatic. Weird. Mysterious.

And it’s entirely understandable because it paves new grounds for evolution.

If you’re wondering why we would ever wear capes like Superman in the future, have you not considered the fact that we are wearing V-neck T-shirts now, when our predecessors were sporting damn coats with large ass shoulder pads?

I can just imagine our seniors laughing at our fashion sense in society nowadays, just like how we will laugh at people wearing capes in public in the future.

However, there’s a limit for everything, and that includes the ever-changing fashion icons.

And these Crocs by Spanish luxury brand Balenciaga didn’t just cross that holy threshold; they practically leapt over it, did a couple of somersaults and landed head-first onto solid ground.

Welcome, folks, to a fashionista night in Paris, where we introduce the hippest and trendiest products you could never have imagined. And first up on our list, we have…

A pair of dazzling, elegant and beautiful Crocs.

Platform Crocs.

Image: Balenciaga Twitter
Image: Imgflip

And we were evidently not the only ones who thought so.

Several fashionista critics gave their take on the elevated Crocs, and well, let’s just say that it wasn’t what Mr Positive would say.

I’m sorry am I hallucinating or did I just see platform Crocs from Balenciaga?” tweeted Tyler McCall of the Fashionista website.

Alyssa Vingan Klein, another Fashionista critic, joined in.

There are platform Crocs at Balenciaga. This is not a drill.” 

Who designed it?

Surprisingly, the designer wasn’t the no.1 suspect on the Fashion Police’s wanted list like I thought.

In fact, Balenciaga’s iconoclast designer Demna Gvasalia, the one who crafted the platform Crocs, is reputed for seeing the beauty in the banal.

Some critics have even accused him of “poverty chic”; remaking the clothes of the poor for the wealthy.

Wait, that somehow sounds like Robin Hood…

If he eked out a living in the Fashion Industry.

His track record does sprinkle the occasional glitter though. His thigh-high Spandex boots became a style sensation, being worn and admired by celebrities and fashion mavens alike.

But to be fair, the infamous IKEA bag incident did knock the competition outta the ballpark.

The fact that he had the cheek to push out a bag that looks like one of IKEA’s blue handbags for $4000, makes me wonder whether he’s a real genius or a guy who just wants to watch the world burn.

But is it really his fault?

Crocs are pretty comfortable. And Vogue can vouch for that.

And just last year, Scottish designer Christopher Kane produced a “US$590 line of fur-lined and crystal-encrusted Crocs.”

So honestly; the future doesn’t look that bleak for Crocs.

But there’s one fact you just can’t change about those nose-holed shoes: they are not exactly David Beckham.

As critic Julia Hobbs put it:”They have nostril-like pores and an upturned snout … When worn by grown-ups they have an unrivalled ability to repel onlookers and induce sneers.”

Which makes you wonder, “What kind of a genius would it take to turn Crocs… appealing?”

Well, Gvasalia did try, to his credit.

But it just wasn’t good enough to impress the ‘judges’.

Other creations

But the platform Crocs, thankfully, weren’t Balenciaga’s only representatives that night in Paris.

Gvasalia also transformed “fringed sun umbrellas into skirts and shop awnings into trousers“.

But it wasn’t so much of shocking, as it was slick.

The designer used materials with incredible smarts, incorporating tartan in trousers and pairing tops and skirts with chain straps from souvenir and duty-free shops.

“The inherent possibilities” and the “exaggeration of everyday styles … is the design impulse” behind the show, he wrote in his show notes.

There were also “pants made from three different trousers spliced together”, “interchangeable pant parts” and “punky “super-spiked stilettoes”. Unlike the Crocs, these went down well with the critics.

But of course, you know what they say: old habits die hard. There was a bag that closely resembled a cheap Thai shopping bag.

Good old Gvasalia, never change, alright?

Alright, maybe just the Crocs part.

I don’t think anyone would mind if you change that aspect.

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This article was first published on goodyfeed.com

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Zhi Hao

Zhi Hao

Just your average Singaporean guy who tends to write aimlessly, work out inefficiently and sleep soundlessly.
Zhi Hao