My mum used to tell me this: “Son, you can flunk all your grades. You can go ram your head on the wall. But on no account are you ever to talk to strangers on the net. Like this one.” She pointed at the computer screen.
“But Mum. It’s a girl,” I replied. “I asked her for her name and she said her name’s Dick!”
She smiled. “I see you have your dad’s brain, but that can’t be helped. Anyways…” she pointed again. “Stop talking to them. Just play your game.”
“But why? I could have my first girlfriend!”
She paused, sighed and grabbed my shoulders. “Son, listen. The net’s a mysterious place, just like the toilet bowl: you never know what goes into it. So listen to me, alright? It’s for your own good.”
Her eyes bored into me, the same way she looked at Dad when she caught him practising the tombstone piledriver with the portly auntie next door.
“Alright…” I blubbered, reaching for the keyboard. “If you wish, Mum…”
“Good boy…” she breathed. “Good boy…”
(Editor’s note: I have no idea what’s going on anymore)
Fifteen years later
It embarrasses me to say this, but I have become an impossibly accomplished individual. I can now recite up to 10 in the Multiplication tables, wipe my own ass and have even learnt what the middle finger’s real function is! In short, I’ve become a genius.
But there’s just one small thing:
I still don’t have a girlfriend.
“I wonder how Dick looks like now…” I said wistfully as I browsed the net. “If only I talked to her instead of listening to Mum-”
“W-W-What’s this?” I breathed, staring at an article on the screen.
Sweetness Overload as Couple Who Met in Neopets as Kids Got Married. Click here to find out more! (Note: Not clickbait)
“Mum…” my face turned pale.
“What have you done?”
Neopets: A Love Story
A couple who met on Neopets when they were just kids have tied the knot in 2014.
Note: Now, in case you’re unaware, Neopets was (and is, actually) a pretty popular virtual pet website. Users can own virtual pets, and purchase virtual items for them using one of two virtual currencies.
Right, back to the story.
Kristin Andrews-Karr was 12 years old when she joined the game from her Little Rock, Arkansas home. And it seems that she got really immersed in it too, as she reportedly ran five accounts on rotation.
Pretty soon, she found herself joining a role-playing guild called the Evil Jellies, where she met him.
Michael Andrews-Karr, a.k.a. her future husband.
Aged just 10 at the time, Michael had been running around the guild with the pseudonym ‘Doctor’.
Contrary to what I expected, it didn’t start out as a first love kind of thing. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The pair didn’t quite hit it off, as Kristin was slated to be a ‘good guy’ in the guild, while Michael was the ‘bad guy’.
Things progressed after that, however, when a small group from the guild, including the pair, moved their friendship to neomail and chatrooms. Thereafter, Kristin and Michael would log on every day to ‘playfight’ and ‘talk stupid drama related to these (guilds)’.
But they never revealed their real names to each other.
“For a long time [Michael] didn’t use his real name and went by ‘Doctor,” Kristin said.
The pair later shifted to AIM instant messaging and began asking each other about personal aspects of their lives.
“We went from silly rivalry to talking about school and life,’ Kristin added. ‘It took a long time from having talked pretty much daily when we were younger teens when he finally sent me pictures of himself and we would sneak phone calls.”
While Kristin’s feelings for Michael grew ever stronger, he had trouble sharing his ‘close pal’ with his parents.
‘He was afraid that if he told his parents about me, they would tell him he can’t talk to strangers online,’ Kristin added.
During a ‘secret phone chat’, an at-the-time junior Kristin reportedly confessed to Michael. But it’s not really in the conventional aspect, so to speak.
Prior to that, the pair had been sending casual ‘I love you’ messages to each other every morning, before leaving for school. And one day, Kristin decided to reply something different when Michael sent his usual ILY text.
“Do you really mean that about me?”
Well, he evidently did, as the question pretty much cemented their feelings towards one another.
When Michael was 17, he began looking for colleges near Kristin. He eventually settled on a liberal arts school called Hendrix College.
When they met for the first time (first date!), Kristin was apparently dressed ‘super cute’, and even brought her mum along for a date at a local restaurant.
But things didn’t work out well, as she reportedly ran away without speaking to Michael. The reason?
She was too overwhelmed when she saw him.
But Michael didn’t seem that composed either.
‘My mom said he was watching me so intently he tripped over a curb,’ Kristin said. ‘She thought it was really silly.’
Later on, Michael would enrol in college and begin an official relationship with Kristin. In 2014, he proposed to her.
According to Kristin, talking at such a young age has really prepped the couple for a healthy relationship.
‘We learned growing up as kids talking to somebody on the internet that you got to know how to communicate — otherwise you won’t have a friend,’ the now 29-year-old said.
Additionally, she has since returned to Neopets, as part of a community of adults who are on the site.
‘We learned growing up as kids talking to somebody on the internet that you got to know how to communicate — otherwise you won’t have a friend,’ she said.
‘It’s incredibly sweet to see all these grown people go back to something so innocent,’ she said.
‘You can make real friends and have real relationships.’
It seems that true love is really present in all shapes and sizes, huh?
On another note, let me just log onto Habbo for the first time in 15 years.
Who knows? I might just meet Dick again!
(Although I can’t really verify whether she’s a girl…)
Since you’re here, why not watch a video about a guy who lodged a Police report here in Singapore because he was friendzoned? Seriously. Here, watch it and do remember to share it (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel)!
This article was first published on goodyfeed.com
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Featured image: Niki Zimmerman (via Dailymail.co.uk)