Disclaimer: this article might trigger your inner Android instincts, so click away if you’re easily angered because we’re not responsible for you killing your long lost Uncle Tom in a fit of rage.
You’ve been warned.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been using Apple. Not the fruit, but the smartphone. And as far as I’m concerned, that will never change.
Friends and colleagues alike have been trying to convince me otherwise. Asking me to change to an Android handset. Questioning my sanity when I stuck to the iPhone series. Gave 13 reasons why I should change phones. But throughout it all, I knew what I am.
An Apple fanboy, true and true.
Granted, Android might have higher specs. More functions. Widgets. Loopholes. No iTunes. But Apple does have its perks too, even if they are somewhat… harder to derive.
Before I continue, however, I just want to express that I write this article not to convince you that Apple’s better than Samsung. Rather, I’m trying to tell you why I choose to use Apple, despite having more than adequate chances to switch camps.
If that’s not what you clicked on this article for, I’m not sorry. But since you’re here…
Why not hear me out? You never know; you might just learn something new that will change your whole life.
Easiest phone to use
I won’t lie; I’m a sucker for comfort and fluidity.
And what more comfortable and fluid, than an iPhone’s interface?
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Let’s not talk about the aesthetics, which is as smooth and easy on the eyes as a woman’s… handbag. Rather, let’s talk about user experience.
I mean; have you ever felt something as fluid as it? Seriously, if it was any more fluid I reckon you can actually go ice-skating on it (though for the sake of weight restrictions I would advise you not to).
Just unlock your phone, press an app, and you’re in. It’s that simple. No advanced, unnecessarily complicated Tamagotcha to do whatever you want. With an easy-to-interact interface and next to zero learning curve… it’s perfect for individuals of all ages. Like Lego bricks. Unless you decide to swallow one.
On the other hand, Android just feels like a tough nut to crack.
(Editor’s note: I’m sorry to interrupt, but doesn’t ALL phone do the same thing?)
Artificial Intelligence System
I know; I know. Half of you have probably never even heard of Siri or Bixby, much less used them. But it’s actually pretty useful if you know what they’re for. Like calling your mum without having to manually go through it.
Anyway, unbeknownst to the majority of the population, Siri’s indefinitely better than Bixby, and I’m not just saying that because Siri rolls off the tongue easier than Bixby.
Rather, Siri just seems to function better, react better and arguably even sounds better. It even gives witty replies that you don’t even expect.
On the other hand, Bixby just reeks of a half-assed Artificial Intelligence System (AIS) tool that comes with a spoilt voice recognition software. Why else will it register ‘Call Justin’ as ‘Call Latte’?
The best apps first
This will be a sucker punch to all the Android fans out there, but the Apple store is apparently favoured by app developers as the launch platform of choice.
Just look at the statistics; Instagram only debut on Android two whole years after it launched for the iPhone. Say what?
And then we have Super Mario Run, which took literal months to hit the Android store, which I could only imagine was pure torture for the Android Mario fans. Even Snapchat hit the App store earlier than Android.
According to people working on our app, Apple has a very strict approval process for their apps: each app is allegedly manually tested by a human and rejection to the app store is as frequent as girls rejecting me. It has to pass a high standard before it’s released to the app store, which explains why you often see some companies forgoing the iOS route and just focus on Android.
As for Android? The Google Play Store accepts any app (and remove them automatically if it breaks any T&Cs).
In fact, Apple takes it so seriously that they would call the developer on the phone to verify that it’s a legit developer. Really, we received a call from them before just to verify that we’re Goody Feed and have an office in Bukit Batok.
Now you know why there are 3.8 million apps in the Google Play Store while there are only 2 million apps in the app store.
So yeah, this is basically the gist: the iPhone is the platform you will want to access for first-hand, prioritised apps. On the flipside, Samsung’s basically for the…
Second-class app citizens, so to speak.
This is one thing I really like about the whole Apple industry.
Its live help system.
When your iPhone encounters a problem, you get a myriad of help routes:
- Access a huge database of useful help articles on Apple’s website.
- Get live help via live chat
- Make an appointment at an Apple Store Genius Bar (in Singapore, it’s the Orchard Road outlet)
Android on the other hand just leaves you to your own devices.
Got a problem? Head onto Hardwarezone. Or call your carrier. We aren’t responsible for any of your dumb faults, bitch.
(Article continues below) Xing Xing is a 34-year-old Singaporean lady who decides to meet up with an online friend she found in Facebook. But it turns out that he’s not what he seems to be: Prepare boxes of tissue and watch the saddest Singapore Facebook love story here:
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Much, much faster
The most recent Apple additions, the iPhone 8, iPhone 8 Plus and the iPhone X, were pretty hyped when they were first unveiled, and it’s not just because they were bigger and longer (as every previous model did).
Rather, they came with the A11 Bionic Chip, which in layman terms, just blows the competition out of the park.
The likes of Galaxy Note 8 and the Pixel 2 XL? They can bow down to the might of the A11, especially when it comes to resource-intensive procedures like editing 4K video and opening large files. And if you’re arguing about the latest Galaxy S9, it’s more than twice as slow.
Just look at this chart for reference.
So with all things considered, you should probably get an iPhone if you belong to one of the categories listed down below:
- Want to play the most intensive games smoothly
- Like your augmented-reality apps functional and fluent, without constant lag pauses in between
- Want to edit videos without having it lag more often than your brain when you see attractive members of the opposite sex
- Want to boast the all-around better phone
Admittedly, there was many a time I was tempted to jump ship and surrender myself to the Android seductresses, and most of them can be attributed to the irritating af entity we know as iTunes.
If you don’t know how irritating it is, just know that it’s mother******* irritating. To the extent I shall not go into specifics, because to go into specifics would be akin to committing harakiri, and I don’t want to die before I know who wins the World Cup 2018. England boleh!
Android, on the other hand, seemed perfect at the time. You can download just about any app, video, or song, and you don’t even have to look around the whole system for loopholes (ala Apple) to do it.
But now that there’s Spotify and Netflix, it makes the dilemma so much less confusing. Granted, those platforms don’t offer the freedom piracy allows, and you technically have to pay for their services, but at the very least you don’t have to scour the app store or web for third party illegal downloading apps that could at any moment be taken down.
And with that necessity out of the way, Android really doesn’t have anything much over Apple, or as far as user experience’s concerned.
Apple’s better than Samsung. But of course, I don’t mean that from a general point of view, because to do so is to invite the wrath of practically every Android user in existence. And I honestly don’t need more flak on my naked butthole, thanks.
Rather, I’m just explaining my own point of view, and why I choose to use Apple over say, a product from Samsung.
So if you agree with my comments, and think I’m a pretty good writer, share this post.
If you don’t agree, well…
Just go and mope over the notion that Android’s worse off than Apple, biatch.
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