In a relationship? Single and ready to mingle? Who cares! More importantly, YOU should be a chocolate connoisseur on Valentine’s Day just because you can. We think about chocolates and instantly think about chocolate brands, but do you know THESE lesser-known chocolate facts?
1. Twice as many women have chocolate cravings compared to men.
Ladies…*looks around dramatically* this is our time to shine. All the jokes men make about us being little chocolate monsters? Embrace it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or…a woman who does not have her chocolate when she’s on her monthly period.
2. Nazis apparently plotted to assassinate Winston Churchill…with an exploding bar of chocolate.
If someone wanted to assassinate me with an exploding bar of chocolate, I think their chances of success would be very high indeed. Who even comes up with ideas like that?
3. Mayans used chocolate in marriage and baptism ceremonies.
If we had more chocolate-themed marriage ceremonies, the world would probably be a better place. Think about all the love and harmony everyone would share.
4. Aztecs and Mayans once used chocolate as currencies.
Why do I have a feeling that in 2,000 years from now, humans will be doing the same thing? “Dude, I’ll sell that phone to you for 50 chocolate bars.”“Dammit, that’s expensive!”
5. Death by chocolate DID happen.
And no, it didn’t happen via diabetes. A Spanish Bishop ate chocolate that had poison injected into it. Actually, this is a better assassination plot than #3. Exploding chocolate bars aren’t exactly subtle.
6. Americans consume almost half the world’s chocolate.
Anyone surprised? No? Moving on…
7. Chocolate is love on a scientific level.
That probably didn’t come out right, but whatever. Chocolate releases happy/pleasurable endorphins, which make you feel good in all the right places – kind of how it’s like when you’re truly madly deeply in love. So while money doesn’t buy love, it buys chocolate – which is pretty much the next best thing.
8. Chocolate inspired the invention of the microwave.
Wut? Really? Yes. Percy Spence, a scientist who worked on WWII weapons, noticed that one day the chocolate bar he kept in his pocket had melted while working with magnetron devices. After noticing that magnetron could heat food up really quickly, the microwave was invented. SEE? Without chocolate, we wouldn’t even be able to cook mi segera today. We owe chocolate our allegiance!
9. We buy chocolate…all year round.
You thought you’d have to buy chocolate only on Valentine’s Day, didn’t you? Pfft, amateur. People who only buy chocolates on February 14th have a weak game! Step it up, buy chocolates all year round.
10. Chocolate melting in your mouth can give you more pleasure than kissing.
Duuuuude. Time to go on a high. This is, like, major newsflash that should make you desire some chocolate immediately.
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