10 Most Unfortunate Singaporean Surnames

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Disclaimer: If it’s not obvious enough, we’ll highlight it now: we’re just trying to be funny. If you’re easily offended or you’re extremely self-righteous online, we suggest that you click away now.

In Singapore, surnames like Tan and Lee are so common that you will likely meet somebody with that surname instantly if you’d just take a few steps down the road. There is nothing wrong with having a common surname, as long as it doesn’t sound as ridiculous as the ones below.

It sounds pretty much like the Hokkien version of ‘cock’. Can you imagine how a person with this surname will get teased everywhere he or she goes?

It would be even more unfortunate if your name was ‘ding dang’, like the Taiwanese singer, then you’d be siao ding dong.

I have actually seen a junior from my primary school with this surname many years back. If you were wondering, yes, she did walk very slowly.

This surname is equally unfortunate for both guys and girls. If you are a girl with this surname, you have to constantly bear the brunt of being teased by insensitive people who would go “but she also not chio!”

Not exactly sure what this surname in Chinese means but it probably wouldn’t make things any better.

People with this surname probably learn what is the meaning behind “chee bye” at a very, very young age.

Imagine walking past people in school and hearing them constantly going “moooo”. For Christ’s sake, grow up.

Kee siao, kee chiu, kee chia, kee lan… oh, just some variations of how your surname could jolly well go wrong in Singapore and Malaysia.

As if your surname wasn’t already bad enough, your Chinese name had to start with ‘chee’. What were your parents thinking?

Knnbccb. ‘Nuff said.