They say that the hardest phase of your NS life is the beginning. The transitioning can be quite brutal, especially if you’re not mentally prepared to wake up at 0500H or get yelled at constantly. That also explains why even your ORD will never be as exhilarating as your first book-out.
Imagine being shut out of your home for 2 to 3 weeks, surrounded by nothing but angry sergeants, fucked up officers, and desensitized enceks. Picture a life where you can’t even take a shit in peace without your platoon mates banging on your cubicle door and rushing you.
These are 10 thoughts that NSFs have right after confinement week that will make you reminisce if you’ve already gone through army, or prepare you for what’s ahead if you haven’t.
#1 Everyone is a chio bu
The bus ride from the ferry terminal to Pasir Ris MRT will be exciting to say the least. Everyone gets a hard on for every single girl they set their eyes on. Fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, or even old, every single girl that you witness through those windows will appear to be the most desirable damsel in the world.
Needless to say, you’ll start to appreciate the beauty of women, and maybe be less picky.
#2 Buy all the McDonald’s
After almost 20 grueling days of enduring Tekong’s cookhouse food, every recruit deserves an upsized double McSpicy meal and a la carte 6 piece McNuggets. If that wasn’t the first thing that you ate on your first book-out, then you missed out big time.
#3 Can shower with hot water
One of the major drawbacks about Tekong life is that you’ll have to deal with cold showers with a 2 minute time limit. If you haven’t grown accustomed to it yet, then you can head straight home and enjoy a nice, long, hot shower.
#4 Faster go home watch porn
After spending a couple of weeks running around, doing push ups, eating and sleeping with 200 guys, you will have the worst case of blue balls that you could ever imagine. I’m sure you can guess that rushing home just to “check, clear” would be one of the first things on your first book-out’s agenda.
#5 Can sleep in air con
If you enlisted around the monsoon season, sleeping in Tekong is actually fairly comfortable. Otherwise, you’re in for sweaty nights and uncomfortable sleeps. You soon realise after confinement week how pampered you’ve been and how much you took you air conditioner for granted.
#6 You are now a soldier protecting our land
One of the many thoughts that crosses your mind when you’re heading out is how different Singapore looks now. The city lights and street lamps are all part of something that you’ve sworn to defend.
And yes, you will feel damn satki to be a soldier.
#7 You are damn sian you have to protect the lands
But of course, not all of us will feel satki. In actuality, most of us will book-out feeling damn sian because they’ve now taken on the burden of defending the country as they count the number of hours they have left before booking in and enduring another week of Tekong life.
#8 You can finally wear something that isn’t green
When the sun goes down, the stars come out, and the party animal in you awakens. That’s when you’ll get to throw on your favourite pair of jeans and a good-looking shirt before making your way to Zouk.
Oh, but don’t forget your cap to cover your bald head. Also, don’t be surprised if you bump into your sergeant there.
#9 You whisper marching songs and start swinging your arms while walking
You’ve been in Tekong for so long that every single step you take now reminds you of marching. And marching means singing songs. If you think no one’s looking, that’s when you start to swing your arms and march and whisper songs and replay all the things that your sergeants shouted at you over the past week.
“Oi! 90 degrees!”
“Where’s my song?!”
#10 You realize you’re not even close to ORD
A part of you might feel that NS isn’t so bad, but another part if you reminds you that you’re only 2 weeks into a 22-month long journey. When it hits you, it hits you hard. But don’t be discouraged, because everyone who has gone through it made it through, and you can still look forward to laughing at those who haven’t and enlisted yet.
For those who are about to enlist, look forward to your first book-out! And for those who’ve already served their time… Well…
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