11 Types of Poop & What They Tell You About Your Health

Last Updated on 2022-06-23 , 5:19 pm

So you think you (literally) you know your shit? Perhaps you know what’s normal and what’s not for you, but it’s better to know MORE. Forget about the talks of laosai and the grossness of reading this while you have your food – your poop can tell you a lot about your health, and you seriously SHOULD pay some attention to your gut. The next time you take a shit, don’t just ignore it – go and have a look. “Shit” isn’t just a swear word, you know.

The 2 main things to look at in your poop are its form and colour, so listen up.

Form:

This is the easiest way to tell what’s wrong, correct? I mean, EVERYONE who’s have had an upset stomach and terrible diarrhoea will know something’s not quite right. But aside from the obvious diarrhoea, there are the little in-between states which could leave one quite confused.

#1 Little lumps, like nuts/balls
If they’re shaped like that and take more effort than usual to pass, then you need to up your intake of fibres and liquids. I mean, you can’t exactly flush something out without the right things to help it move along.

#2 Sausage-shaped, but kinda lumpy
Not as bad as #1, but it doesn’t mean you’re in ideal-poop-state. Go and eat some vegetables or fruits.

#3 Like a sausage, but with cracks present on the surface
You’re doing not too badly, but the cracks show that an increase of water intake would help you more. Yes, drink more water so that your poop isn’t crinkly and creasy (I can’t believe I’m describing poop in this way).

#4 Smooooooth sausages
IDEAL. This is when you’ve attained the holiest of poop which is easy to pass and does not smell like something you’ve dug out of the garbage can. Your intestines totally applaud you for your service.

#5  Soft blobs with clear-cut edges
Yaaas, you’re doing fine. I mean, it’s hard to poop out perfect sausages all the time…right?

#6 Mushy stool, fluff-like with ragged edges
Yeah…you’re sort of normal, but it’s getting quite close to being diarrhoea-like. Make sure you’re not eating anything that’s irritating your gut too much and try getting some probiotics.

#7 All liquid – nothing solid
You already know this, but I’ll repeat it anyway – you have diarrhoea, and it’s often caused by some sort of infection which your body’s trying to clear out. While it’s embarrassing and horrendous running to the bathroom several times an hour, it’s a necessary process and you’ll be back to normal in no time at all. Remember to drink lots of liquids to replace all the ones you’ve lost.

50 Shades of Poop (aka colour):

Yum. Here we come. The ideal colour is (obviously) a normal brown – think milk chocolate without grossing yourselves out too much.

#1 Green: don’t get too weirded out – maybe you’ve eaten a whole heap of green leafy vegetables that warrant your poop that sort of colour. Either that, or food’s moving through your intestines too quickly – so if you have diarrhoea that’s green, don’t freak out. It happens when there’s insufficient time for bile to break down to provide poop its normal chocolate colour.

#2 Black: Some vitamins like iron supplements could give your poop this colour. Foods like liquorice and other stuff like pepto-bismol can make it black too. But if you’re not taking any supplements and you’re having black, tarry stool, it could be a sign of bleeding in your gastrointestinal tract.  In other words, don’t ignore it if you have black, tarry poop. Better check it out – be safe than sorry.

#3 Blood-stained/red: If you’re not eating anything like beets/something with red food colouring, then you shouldn’t ignore bloody poop either. It could be a haemorrhoid, an infection, or…touch wood, a tumour. Get it sorted!

#4 Yellow: If it’s yellow, greasy and smells kinda yuck (you know, worse than usual) – then it could be an indication of excess fat in your poop, signifying malabsorption.

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