19 Problems Any Singaporean Couple Will Understand

Singapore is a great place for loads of people, rich people, foreign expats, clean freaks and the list goes on. But there’s one group Singapore is NOT great for, couples. In fact Singapore might probably be a more conducive place for actual birds than lovebirds

So here at Shopback, we decided to give voice to the bereaved couple, with 19 challenges any Singaporean couple can attest to.

1. Where to go?

Orchard, Raffles, City Hall, Orchard, Raffles, City Hall, Orchard, Raffles, City Hall and on and on till we fade away into our BTO tombs.

giphy.com

2. What to do?

Watch a movie, eat, watch a movie, eat, eat a movie, watch, get married, watch a movie, eat, die

giphy.com

3. Stares from the elderly

It’s the relentlessness of their gaze, like they’re studying your every move, exposing the cracks in your relationship to dissect later with their Mahjong buddies.

giphy.com

Interracial couples get it wayyyy worse, something about the mixture of colour totally blows old people’s minds

4. Deciding when enough PDA is enough

Look, no one likes excessive PDA, but what exactly is EXCESSIVE? Hand holding? Light pecks on the cheek? Mouth kisses? Dry humping? In a country as repressed as Singapore, toeing the line is one of the great challenges of being in a relationship

giphy.com

Excessive

5. Stalkers

The issue of PDA is really important because 95% of all Singaporeans are secretly ultra cool “journalists” working for Stomp, who come up with hard hitting exposes like this

stomp.com.sg

“STOMPer Wena was disgusted by the sight of this couple glued to each other on a bus.”

Well STOMPer Wena, if that is your real name, I would just like to thank you for your continued vigilance in ensuring Singapore remain a country where any display of affection or love is brutally repressed and we live our lives as cold and distant as humanly possible

6. Money (or lack thereof)

Things are expensive in Singapore, especially so when you’re in a relationship and love consistently overwhelms common sense. The emptier the wallet, the awesomer the date went.


Advertisements  

giphy.com

7. Public transport sibei expensive

“Hey, you wanna take the MRT to grab a quick lunch at Somerset, cab to Vivo in time for the 1.30 movie then maybe cross over to Sentosa for a while before taking a bus back to Ang Mo Kio, send you home then take the last train back to Holland V” All your money’s used up and you didn’t even know it.

giphy.com


Advertisements  

8. But car even more expensive

No joke here, I just really can’t afford a car man.

9. HDB walls are much too thin

Passion is all good and well but HDB walls were meant for 60 year old couples slowly fading away together instead of passionate young couples doing passionate young stuff.

giphy.com

10. Working hours

Singaporeans spend an inordinate amount of time at work. In fact, according to a recent study, 83% of couples have not seen each other in 4 years* which kinda explains this reaction


Advertisements  

singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg

*Not a real stat

11. Zheng Geping

Probably the biggest threat to couples in Singapore, Zheng Geping mixes an intricate blend of maturity, charisma, personality, wisdom and pecs (6 of them) to become the number 1 cause of broken relationships in Singapore*

sg.sports.yahoo

This guy damn spoil market sia

*Not a real stat


Advertisements  

12. Ann Kok

The female version of Zheng Geping. She combines your youthful whims (provided your boyfriend watched Fu Man Ren Jian while he was growing up) with that same mature touch, all while having the greatest sexual innuendo laced name among any Singaporean celebrities.

flickr.com

13. National Service

National Service is basically a form of LDR but way way worse because your apart from the distance, your boyfriend loses his hair also.

asiaone.com

Ah Boys to Single Men indeed.

14. Laggy Skype

Out of the blue, your boyfriend suggests you guys “Take a break from each other”, you don’t see this coming, neither does your boyfriend when you stop returning his calls. All he said was “Hey, lets TAKE A BREAK-dancing course together, the instructor’s FROM Japan. I love that we can do these things with EACH OTHER”

Other problems associated with Skype include

giphy.com

15. Demanding in-laws

Every parent wants the best for their children, the problem is Singaporean parents, alternatively known as your future in-laws, want the best for their children, their future grandchildren, their great great grandchildren, their great great great grandchildren’s pet iguana and so forth.

giphy.com

So unless you are a doctor by day and lawyerman by night, expect a huge heaping of disappointment.

16. Finding the perfect gift

Your 12th monthsary or as your parents call it “an anniversary” (haha lameos!) is coming up and you don’t know what to get for your significant other, maybe you should take a quick trip to Orchard or Raffles City or City Hall or… Orchard again.

Or you could try getting her any of the amazing dresses on offer at Zalora, and enjoy a 12% cashback while you’re at it , when you get it though Shopback!

giphy.com

but don’t spoil market la (I’m looking at you Zheng Geping)

17. Keeping the flame alive

Every couple goes through a rough patch, maybe it’s the long working hours, or constant arguments or Zheng Geping. Whatever it is, keeping the romantic flame alive is both a challenge and essential for a long lasting relationship.

How about a short getaway to ignite the passion, just the 2 of you? Book an affordable vacation with Expedia today and get 8% cashback at the same time when you use Shopback.

giphy.com

18.When to get a home/ when to get married? 

Your first house will most likely send you tumbling into an abyss of debt, which is dug even deeper by the cost of a potential wedding and all the furniture you’ve gotta buy. Intangibles like “I love you so much” is replaced by “do I love you this much?” (insert debt number)

giphy.com

19. How many children?

Yes, I know having children is a beautiful thing, and that shaping another human life from a fetal blip to a point where they can stand on their own 2 feet, both literally and metaphorically, is a testament to the majesty of that little miracle we call life… but on the other hand, milk powder prices are going up soooooo

giphy.com

With the amazing deals at Redmart, you can afford to get your groceries AND raise a child. Earn an additional 9% cashback when you purchase it through Shopback

shopback banner

This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying:
Advertisements  

Enjoyed this article because it’s both informative and entertaining? If so, you should download the Goody Feed app so that you won’t miss out on any articles, as there are app-exclusive contents as well! Also, join our Telegram channel if you use Telegram often!

Latest & Popular Articles You Must Not Miss:


Advertisements  

Advertisements  

Our Most Popular Videos You Must Not Miss:
Advertisements  
 
This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying: