Honestly, it’s not really that big of a secret. As ladies, we tend to get a little grumpy. Cute, adorable grouchiness aside, you’ve probably made a terrible mistake if you’re looking at full-blown, fifty shades of I-want-to-acquaint-your-face-with-a-brick type of anger. You have to fix things quickly before, uh, nasi menjadi bubur, as they say.
So she’s absolutely livid, right? That’s okay. Breathe slowly (without asphyxiating out of anxiety) and get right onto Operation-Salvage-My-Relationship. (Valentines is coincidentally just coming ‘round the corner, but you don’t need me to mercilessly remind you of that).
Things you should say:
1. “I’m sorry.”
It’s simple, it’s common – so why is it so hard to say? “I’m sorry” honestly sounds better than something like “it was an accident, babe”. Let her know how apologetic you feel instead of chucking out ways to avoid the damage shows that you’re willing to put your ego aside for her. Keep in mind that this phrase has to be said sincerely – a sarcastic, sullen “sorry lah” reaaaaally isn’t going to earn you any brownie points.
2. “What I did was wrong because…”
Dredging up your wrongdoings and explaining them to your angry partner may make you feel uncomfortable—as it rightly should, especially if you’ve committed a legit screw-up. Girls, however, are more willing to forgive if you can show to them that you understand your mistakes. Be concise and straight to the point when you reason (gosh, this is starting to sound like a “how-to-give-a-motivational-talk” guide). Don’t attempt to cover up the facts with any lies or vague concepts. If you cheated, then you cheated—if you were being inappropriate at her birthday party, then you…were being inappropriate. Be honest. Hiding behind curtains only worked in cartoons.
Things you should NEVER say:
3. “Why are you angry/still angry at me?”
If what you did was pretty bad, you can’t expect her to calm down, chill out and act like everything’s back to normal in just a day or two. It’s true that girls can hold grudges (sometimes unreasonably!) – but this doesn’t mean you would want to exacerbate the damage by asking her a question like that. Give her some time to forgive.
Honestly? If you’re guilt-free and have zero idea why she’s furious, then she might be pissed at something else. In that case, be there for her if she needs you, but remember that you’re not the one who should be bearing the brunt of her anger. Speak to her, and keep your own temper in check. Men, remember that you do deserve respect as she does yours. #heforshe #equality #EmmaWatsonftw
4. “But it was your fault!”
…Just avoid this at all costs. I’m not saying that you’re completely at fault—maybe she contributed to some of the damage, maybe she started it. I’m not saying that you should fall to her feet either if she happens to really be the one at fault. However, blaming her would only lead to a series of it’s-not-me-it’s-you; let’s-point-out-each-other’s-mistakes contest. No, sir, be wise and do not get caught up in this one.It is…*insert dramatic sigh here*…a trap. Use a different approach instead. If you’re desperate, give her peace offerings. Ultimately, you want to make sure you two are calm enough to start working things out.
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