In most relationships, you would have experienced these four stages before. It’s just like growing up in Singapore, you go to school, you come out to work, you enter retirement and, well, you pass on. So, in your relationship, either current or past, how many stages have you experienced before?
The courting phase
This is the most exciting moment – your heart races whenever she agrees to go on a date with you, or sometimes you just find yourself smiling whenever she replies you via WhatsApp. You always look forward to going to work or school because no matter how much it sucks, everything is made better when you see her. This phase can be considered the roller-coaster phase among the 4 stages, because you’re always filled with excitement and dread, always looking forward yet unsure of what’s going to come next.
The honeymoon period
This is the sweetest period ever. Everybody loves this stage – you got the girl of your dreams after months of hard work. You know what it feels like to have a girl that really loves you and willing to go the extra mile to show how much you really mean to her; and you are always getting small thoughtful gifts for her, always thinking about how to make her happy. You feel like everything’s perfect in the world and nothing is ever going to go wrong. In fact, you couldn’t imagine life without her by your side.
The post-honeymoon period
Things are no longer as sweet anymore and dare I say it, boring. You’d start to see more of her undesirable qualities come out; she burps, she farts and she no longer bothers to really dress up for dates with you and really, compared to when you guys first got together, she’s not really putting in the effort into the relationship. In this stage, things could go either way; if you start to hiam or show contempt, chances are things are going to go south pretty fast.
But if you just see her not dressing up, not caring about her image in front of you as a sign that both of you are confident and comfortable with one another, then you’d most likely be thinking of the next stage with her – marriage. Both of you start planning for the future, naming imaginary kids and looking at prime HDB locations. In fact, the future is no longer a question about if the relationship works out but more of when the relationship enters the next stage.
The happily-ever-after, or not
Both of you finally gotten your own HDB flat and you managed to give her the wedding of her dreams; what comes next is nothing like you’d imagine. Instead of a blissful marriage in a home which belongs to the both of you, you get bills, screaming kids and a lot of sacrifices on your part. You’d realize that meeting each other every day has nothing on staying together. There’ll be friction as you enter into arguments and fights almost every day.
If you grow bitter and unhappy, chances are the both of you will be relegated back to single status very soon, but if you’re able to work your way through your issues and realize the love that you still have for one another, you’d find yourself a steadfast companion to walk down the road of life with you.
So, which stage are you at right now?