Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:42 pm
Cantopop singer William So has sung before, that the most beautiful romance is the relationship with your ex. Lyrics in the song stated that breaking up isn’t because of any let downs or broken promises, but it’s due to 2 people choosing to love each other at a wrong time. Old relationships are indeed memorable and hard to let go, and many a times people find it hard to recover from their breakups with their first loves after a long period. When you can finally get over it and when your ex suddenly asks you out for tea one day, what should you do to not mislead him or her and fall into the valleys of relationship woes again? Read the following tips below to find out!
1. Reminisce the past
It was a decision made to separate from each other previously, why question your decision now? If you have no intention to progress any further with him, then don’t meet up with him alone, have a group of friends around. When chatting with each other during the meet up, talk only about day to day things and not the happy times you guys have shared with each other in the past. Remember: you guys have broken up with each other, bringing up the past will only revive the wounds that have taken so long to recover. If he does not want to patch up with you, but merely want to catch up as an old friend, that is still fine. However, if he has met with another failed relationship and thinks that you are still the best choice, then be prepared to cry your heart out if you don’t stand firmly with your decision. Your peaceful life will be messed up once again because of him. Just bear in mind, it is enough having those nice memories sometimes, there is no need to dwell in the past anymore, move on.
2. Have intimate bodily contact
This is the most unwise act to take. Think about it, you won’t have intimate actions with a normal friend – like hugging, kissing, holding hands – right? If he only wants to catch up with you, ask you about your recent happenings, and you do all that, won’t that make him feel disgusted with you? Once separated, know your boundaries and stick to them, don’t do anything that might make him misunderstand anymore. Don’t think being intimate with him can rekindle his love for you, the reality is not like what you think. If you both have broken up on bad terms, then he might think even more lowly of you if you carry out those actions. So my advice for everyone here is: If you do not want to leave your ex with a bad impression of yourself, don’t do such actions!
3. Be too early or late
When meeting other people or other friends, being early will show your sincerity, while being late will make others feel annoyed. While that works for general friendships, it does not work for private matters like meeting your ex. You should not be early, or late, when you meet with your ex again. Why??
Because if you are early, he will think that you value this meet up and might still have feelings for him. If you are late, he will on the other hand think that you do not care about this meet up with him, and take away marks from his impression of you. Ultimately, just be on time. Of course, being punctual is a good habit to have, don’t let any of your friends feel that you don’t give a shit about them by being late, even if he’s your ex.
4 Empathize with his situation
If your ex wants to patch up with you and gain your attention and love again, he will try his best to make you empathize with him. The first thing to note before going out to meet up with your ex again, is not to be emotional or sentimental. You do not want to hurt by the same person another time, right? Then bear in mind that when you do not love him anymore, the empathy you give him might not be perceived in the same way by him if he still has feelings for you. What you are giving might be concern from a friend to a friend, but he might see it as an opportunity for you both to get back together again, understand? I am not asking you to be heartless and ignore him totally, but when the nature of the relationship has changed, it doesn’t concern you regardless what has happened to him. Don’t hurt him further with your compassion and empathy, and further hurt yourself too.
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