5 do & don’ts during a quarrel with your boyfriend / girlfriend

Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:43 pm

There are bound to be conflicts that happen between couples throughout a relationship.  Certain level of conflicts is actually healthy for the relationship as both are able to see the differences in the habits, lifestyles and personality, and making an effort to resolve them. Conflicts should always be resolved at the lower levels before escalations. However, some couples failed to do that and this marks the end of a relationship. Here are some of the Dos & Don’ts during a conflict:

1. Give each other some time to cool down and reflect upon themselves. Do not attempt to “blame-storm” with each other. It always takes 2 hands to clap and there is certainly a gap that causes the conflict. Couples should at least “cool” themselves for 3 days and see what can be done and resolve the differences

2. Do not attempt the use the Ladder of Abstraction– “oh, he didn’t call me because he is probably enjoying himself with his friends or other girls”. Don’t assume. Assumption is always a killer in relationships.

3. Put yourself in your partner’s shoe and think from his perspectives. No one is able to read another’s mind but by trying to think from his perspectives, you will be able to see the “big” picture

4. Listen to what your partner has to say when the cooling period is over. Do not attempt to start “shooting off” if he said something that which you do not agree with. LISTEN! Analyse the problems together with a cool head and try to propose solutions. It is a must to give and take in a relationship. Never expect returns if you don’t put in the effort. Relationship is just like flowers, they require watering and nutrition before they bloom into beautiful flowers

5. If you are in the wrong, say SORRY. A lot of us do not like to use this word and always assume that it is embarrassing to lower down your pride and say sorry. But this is a magical word that can actually restore and strengthen the relationship between couples

If a couple is really in love with each other, always open your heart and go for a win-win solution. Always remember that it’s easy to find someone that you love and always difficult to find someone who really loves you. Treasure every relationship with your loved ones!