Trust me- it was quite painful to write all these down. Feelings are going to be hurt, macho men are going to cry and the world is going to end when these sentences are heard.
But unfortunately, they exist.
Without further ado, here are some things women say that put you in the infamous friendzone.
#1 “Can you bring your brother/friend/cousin along?”
You had everything carefully planned. You made table reservations, did your research, and thought of all the best pick-up lines you could ever use. And then…bam. Suddenly, she wants you to bring your CLASSMATE along. What the…?
Okay, sure, getting more friends along for an afternoon you had specially planned out for her doesn’t automatically spell ‘friendzone’.
Maybe she’s shy (d’aww) and feels a little awkward about being with you just yet. Still, lemme be honest – this IS a pretty standard friendzone move. If she likes you, she’d want to spend more time alone with you. Uninterrupted. Away from her giggly girly friends.
#2 “You Would Make a Great Boyfriend!”
Sigh. An alternative variant to this would be something along the lines of “any girl would be lucky to have you”– basically some sentence that sums up the sweet/adorable/loveable aspects of you. Don’t get me wrong, she probably thinks you’re boyfriend material – just not to her, that’s all.
Sorry, pal, you have my condolences on this one. You CAN stay optimistic, though. Maybe she’s trying to tell you how much she LIKES you for who you are. I mean, with women…you never know, right?
#3 “So There’s This Guy…”
There’s nothing that spells Friendzone with a capital F like this one. If she shows an interest for someone else who isn’t you and is blatantly obvious about it, then you’re pretty much in the friendzone.
Of course,I know of girls out there who use this as a tactic to get guys “jealous”, but it’s really not something I approve of. A real lady wouldn’t try to get the man of her interest “jealous”– it just ain’t classy.
#4 “Can you…”
…Walk my dog/feed my fish/drop my sister off at school/get me some char kuey teow? Guys, while you may feel happy assisting the girl of your dreams in all ways possible (and you should be – being a gentleman about these things makes you a good person!), be very wary of the possibility of you falling into the friendzone.
If she’s asking help from you all the time, she MIGHT be seeing you as a bro more than anything else. (Warning: this one can be a little inaccurate. Maybe she really DOES need help and has no one else to call for. Who are you not to give it to her, right?)
#5 “You’re just like my brother!”
Game over, mate. I am so, so sorry. You can try as hard as you want, but…it’s just not happening. Or maybe you’ll be one of the few lucky ones who can surpass this insurmountable path of doom.
You have my well-wishes! *cue Lord of the Rings scene: there…is…always hope*
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