Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:42 pm
Her insecurities – and yours.
It’s easy to talk about what you feel worried about with one of your close bros, but it’s harder to tell your girlfriend what you’re worrying about. The same goes for her – sometimes she feels that what she worries about is too trivial to even be brought up, so why bother? All couples, however, need a serious discussion once in a while. Hiding all your worries away isn’t going to make it go away. Also, you shouldn’t worry about appearing being less ‘manly’ to her just because you’re opening up about your concerns. If she thinks you to be unmanly for doing that, then she needs an attitude adjustment.
Compliments are great, compliments are lovely.
Talking about work and what you’ve gotten up to today is all well and good, but doing that all the time leaves no space for any emotional growth in your relationship. Take the effort to drop her a compliment once in a while, especially if it’s for something you would normally take for granted – for example: if she’s the one who takes out the trash, a compliment like, “thank you for taking out the trash as you always do – it’s so kind of you” (note: this is totes an example, feel free to do whatever’s comfortable for you) will make her feel loved and appreciated. Even if you guys aren’t the sort of couple to spout lovey-dovey romance for each other, there’s no harm in complimenting her, thanking her, and making her feel good about what she does.
What you both want in the future.
Probably not advisable to do this on the first date, but if you guys have been together since forever or are married, even – then it wouldn’t be too early to talk about what you guys want from each other in the future. Sweet, adorable stuff like “I’ll love you forever” are pretty cool, but don’t forget to talk about the more practical aspects of life that have to be talked about. This includes the topic of families (current or future ones), mortgages (the idea of having a property is scary – how do we adult, even?), or kids (for the married ones). Talking to each other about these things will make it clear to you both what you guys want each other and prevents any misunderstandings from arising in the future. Even talking about little things such as future vacations will give you both something to look forward to!
Intimacy needs – yours and hers.
Don’t underestimate the power of a healthy sexual relationship. Sure, you may feel like an absolute sex god in bed, but there are always ways to make it better for the both of you. Ask what feels enjoyable for her. Communication is key, and making it extra enjoyable for you both requires that you two learn about each other’s bodies. It’s a process that takes time, practice, and a certain amount of patience. Don’t shun intimacy away as a taboo/unimportant topic – problems that occur in the bedroom WILL come back and haunt you. If there are problems, talk about it so that you two can learn to overcome it.
No one is perfect – neither you, nor she. When I’m talking about ‘self-improvement’, I don’t mean that you should lay down a detailed, derogatory critique of your flaws. On the contrary, I’m talking about healthy criticism that would help improve your wellbeing. This can be done in several ways: by being bold enough to apologize for doing something wrong, by being open enough to share with your partner what your past mistakes were, etc. Doing so not only helps break barriers, it also sends your partner a positive sign that you’re willing to improve yourself.
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