Chinese New Year is over, and as you take away the decorations and store them in your storeroom, you’re faced with the shock of your life (that occurs every year): the 288 mandarin oranges in your kitchen.
Why have you bought so many? (we’ll help you answer: because you kiasu)
Now that your house has changed from red to orange, you know you’ll have to do something about them. Unfortunately, you can’t store them in the storeroom. If you throw them all away, you’ll be Stomped by some self-righteous keyboard warrior who says something about Africa kids. So what should you do with them?
We’ve got some suggestions.
Ar bo then? What excuses do you have now for not taking a fruit after a meal? The number 288 mentioned earlier is an exaggeration; there should be only about 50 mandarin oranges left. If your household has four people, and each person consume one mandarin orange after one meal, everything will be gone in less than five days.
Now you’ve no excuse but to take a fruit after every meal.
Give them to foreign workers
Let’s face the facts: foreign workers are willing to walk five bus stops just to save sixty cents, as one dollar could possibility feed someone for a day in their country. Admit that you’re wealthy even if you do not have a Mercedes and give them your mandarin oranges.
That’ll also shut those people who talks about Africa kids up.
Squeeze them into juices
You can clear three mandarin oranges for a cup of fresh orange juice. Have visitors? Squeeze some for them. Finish your dinner? Squeeze a cup for yourself. Before you know it, you’ll be squeezed dry…
Feed them to cute little animals
Stray cats and dogs are always looking for food. While they are essentially carnivores and need meat, it doesn’t hurt for them to have some fruits. Or you can feed them to monkeys in parks—although you’ll most likely be caught by the authorities, because feeding monkeys is a chargeable offence. Don’t say we never warn you hor.
Give them away
Christmas comes early for you. Just distribute them to your colleagues, schoolmates or teachers. Make it a habit to give two mandarin oranges to anyone you see. Not only would they form a good impression of you, you’ll clear your oranges fast. Killing two birds with one stone has never been so satisfying.