6 encouraging sentences that you should refrain from telling someone who is going to enlist soon

Last Updated on 2016-05-30 , 9:36 am

We all know you mean well; you just want to make the poor guy feel better. But as someone who has once queued up at Pasir Ris Bus Interchange and prepared to serve two years of NS before, I can tell you that sometimes, all you need to do is to smile and do nothing. Or say other things instead one of these six sentences:

“It’s just two years mah!”
It is two years all right, but it’s not just two years. Think about it: I can get a degree in two years. I can find and marry a girlfriend in two years. I can do many things in two years. So you’re correct to say that it’s two years, but take that damn “just” away.

“You can still book out every weekend, so treat it like a job loh!”
Whoever said that must have not been in the army before. There’s a thing known as “guard duty”, and if you’re as unfortunate as me, you’ve to do up to two weekend guard duties per month—if there are no major trainings. And whoever said we will definitely book out on Friday night? Even in one of my reservist trainings, I book out on Saturday. So don’t assume.

“You’ll make new friends there, so just enjoy the process lah!”
Very true—only after you’ve ORDed. It’s the same for everyone: when we’re in the army, we hate every minute in the camp, and when we’ve ORDed, we miss and love every minute there. It’s like a formula, you know? So in the formula, you realize it’s pre-ORD, so it won’t make sense.

“It’s no longer that tough now what!”
Oh, come on. Being a soldier is being a soldier is being a soldier. How soft can it be now? Rifles becoming air guns? 2.4 km run becoming 2.4 km walk? It’s just a lot safer now with the new system; it’s still as tough, though. Even in reservist. Or maybe reservist is tough because we’re older.

“Just treat it as a free slimming centre lah!”
You know, I would rather work for six months without any off day and pay for the slimming centre instead of treating NS as a slimming centre. This won’t work, boys and girls.

“ORD loh!”
If I had said this to any pre-enlistees or NSFs, I would like to extend my deepest apologies. I know how it felt, because I kana before many times.
Oh, by the way, ORD loh!