6 types of jokers in the gym

Whether it’s the affordable $2.50-per-entrance sports complex gyms or the atas $300-per-month Orchard Road gym, these types of jokers will exist, as if they are planted in by the gym owners to add colour to a dull, testosterone-filled area. Have you encountered any of them before?

The kids who just focus on their biceps
They usually come in groups and make a lot of noise while working out—that is, if it’s even called “working out”. They’re always using the machine that works their biceps, as if girls are attracted only to biceps. You’ll only see them once, but there’ll be a different group every now and then. Sometimes, you’ll hear them exchange stories about how they’ve failed to ask a girl out.

The go-every-day-and-work-out-for-hours guy
Okay, admittedly, these are the biggest guys in the gym, but their body comprises an equal amount of muscles and fats. They’ll always be in the gym; if you change your gym schedule and decide to go to your regular gym in the morning instead of in the evening, you’ll still see them. One day, during your off-day, you went there at 3.00 p.m. and they’re still there, flexing their fats muscles in front of the mirror.
Bro, you can spend those extra hours doing cardio to burn off that fats leh.

The screamer
There are only two reasons why they have to yell so loud: either their testosterone level is too damn high or they’re seeking attention. Come on, sometimes, we do make some noise when we’re pushing our limits, but to scream like someone has stabbed you with a knife? There’s absolutely no way that one would roar this way when you’re releasing some stress.  If you can shout so loud in the morning when working out, I wonder how loud you’ll scream when you’re releasing something else at night with your girlfriend or wife.

The friends
They’re the ones who spend more time talking than working out. After all, there’s air-conditioner, there’re pretty ladies and it’s cool to be spotted there. Where else is a better place to chill out with your friends? And with sports complex’s $2.50 entry for non-members, it’s affordable, too. I’ve yet to include the free use of the water cooler and toilet.

The 20-minute walker
In some gym, the maximum amount of time you can spend on the treadmill is 20 minutes. These people—they’ll walk the entire twenty minutes. No offence to anyone, but if you want to walk 20 minutes, why not walk from Jurong West to Jurong East?

The professional
He carries a notepad and a pen, for smartphone apps are for sissy. And he’ll hog one bench or machine until he spots his target, usually a lady or a weak-looking guy. Then he’ll tell his target the correct way to squat—but that’s not his objective. After that, he’ll spend the next thirty minutes talking about his achievements: from that day he won some bodybuilding competition to that day when he married his wife.