Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:43 pm
What’s the worst part for an enlisting soldier who is attached? His relationship. More often than not, you hear stories of how relationships go bad when the boy enters army; guys “wear green hat” (translate that to Chinese), guys change in personality and the relationship becomes stale. Is it really the army that’s causing these personal tragedies?
I’m attached myself and I would say that my relationship is still going strong, thanks to my awesome girlfriend and both our efforts to keep this relationship going. In this article I shall share some common misunderstandings in the ladies’ point of view as well as some pointers which can help maintain your relationship or even remedy one.
“I’ve waited the whole day for one call, but during the call he speaks lesser than five sentences!”
Your boy is going through a transition where almost all his freedom is taken away, everything including his time is controlled according to schedule and the activities in camp are mostly physically demanding.
Usually admin time at night is after all activities or training have ended, and the one thing everyone wants to do is to jump onto the bed and sleep. Trust me, as much as he would love to talk to you the whole night, he is most likely unable to do so after such a tiring day. But guys, this is no excuse for you, you can’t expect your girlfriends to only be the ones talking, think in their shoes!
Oh did I mention that there’s limited time to do everything as well?
“We have lesser things to talk about, all his topics are about the army”
There’s a saying in the army “same shit, different day”. When the days go on, everything becomes mundane, so he telling you what he did would be also the same. Plus, since he is exposed to something relatively new every day, what he will do is go find out on what he’s interested in and since it’s related to the army, everything he talks about would naturally be about the army!
Just a suggestion for ladies, you can go read up some things about the army. I’m sure your boy would be surprised to know you know so much and even if he has to correct you, he can prove how much he knows too.
He likes to go out more and wants to stay out during the weekends as much as possible! (or vice versa, staying in)
This might be a little more subjective for different army guys but it’s the same reason: we only have weekends to go out!
Same principle: he has very little time to spend outside, hence the weekends are for him to wisely do what he can’t do 5/7 of the week. If you cherish time with him, go out with him! It doesn’t matter what you’re doing as long as you’re spending time with him anyways. Of course some compromise should be reached between both parties, but I wouldn’t support anyone continuously shopping non-stop! It’s all about compromise!
For me, my girlfriend and I both prefer to stay home, so no conflict here!
When he books out, he starts getting sleepy at 10pm!
We all know we have limited time to spend with each other, but why still go to sleep? Simple: Body Clock. As mentioned above, his time and schedule is controlled. The army says we have to sleep at 10pm to prepare for the next day. Doing this same routine 5 days a week means our body clock most likely is adjusted to that.
You’re fortunate if your boy makes special effort to stay awake. I personally can’t keep awake as long as I’m sitting on a bed around that time… but that doesn’t mean I do that all the time, so guys, do make the effort to appreciate the time spent together!
This word is very often overlooked! It takes two people to communicate. If only one party puts in the effort, then it’ll be talking to a wall, not communication. If you don’t speak of what you feel or think, the other party is never ever going to know about it. This can make or break your relationship in the long run. Not to mention that means of communication is only via the phone on weekdays.
Having good communication not only means mindless talking. It means to let either party know what’s going on in each other lives, be it whether it’s of your interest or not – what’s important is your partner, and not the topic. Good communication also reduces misunderstanding.
One of my principles for a healthy relationship is to never keep secrets from each other. Being a couple means that you both should have nothing to hide. On top of that, with him being in camp and unable to be updated on your activities, it’s normal to feel insecure. Keeping secrets leads to several negative consequences, in worst case scenarios, he may start doubting your loyalty; of which will lead us to my next point.
Ladies, as much as your boy is in camp, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t die wishing to come out to give you a hug, you may be tired of hearing all the “I miss you” sweet talk but you never know it might very well be true. The least you can do is stay faithful and work things out.
Guys, don’t cheat on your loyal girlfriends in… well, camp. Wait, WTF?
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