8 dating expectations that should be given the middle finger now

Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:43 pm

There are a lot of rules and regulations that people are supposed to follow when they go on dates. And hey, it’s nice that there’s some guideline to follow when you’ll probably feel scared and nervous about meeting a new person or getting to know someone better in hopes of a blooming relationship.

But come on, it’s 2015, ffs. Some of the traditions aren’t the best. And honestly, the main point is to enjoy yourself and get to know each other. There’s no reason that we should be pressured to follow typical social norms, right?

For guys:

1. Opening doors for your lady

This is a very gentlemanly thing to do, and very polite as well. But guys shouldn’t have to do it because it’s ‘gentlemanly’. It’s just polite. And guys shouldn’t be the only one to be doing it, much less that it should be done exclusively on dates.

In public, if you see someone nearby behind you, whether you’re a guy or a girl, be nice and just open the door and let the other person go first. It’s such a nice thing to do. 10/10 the person will appreciate it and it will be a highlight of their day.

2. Pulling out chairs for your lady

It’s a sweet move that I doubt is done anymore. It shows that you care about your gal and damn it wins points.

3. Paying for everything

Once, when I suggested to my friend and her mother that I wouldn’t mind paying for some of the stuff during dates, they laughed. They full out laughed at me.

Some people would think that it makes me ‘easy’ and ‘a cheap date’, I value that we’re both supposed to be putting in effort to make things work. Besides, why would I mind to pay for my own food and such? It’s going down my own throat. And while it’s nice to not have to pay for my own food and drink and entertainment, I can afford it. I don’t really want my guy to fork out heaps just to spend time with me.

4. Bringing small gifts

I’m not quite sure if this is done anymore, much less on dates when there’s no special occasion. But this is great! It makes one happy and loved and it’s just such a sweet gesture. But guys tend to get the short end of the stick for this, no?

If you’re a guy, would you want your girl to bring you something? What would that be?

Personally, I think the dynamics should change a bit. Wooing has gotten much too one-sided. It’s the 21^st Century, people!

5. Being the one to drive everywhere

So it’s kind of sexist to say that guys are better drivers and that girls are bad at it. While this stereotype may be true for me, it might not be for everyone.

It’s more romantic to be going places together, but sometimes, it’s not very practical. But still, if you each get to the destination separately, be the nice guy and walk her to the car, especially if it’s late. This is more of a safety concern than anything else, though it’s still very chivalrous.

For girls:

6. Having to dress up

I get it. It’s nice to look nice for that special someone. It makes everyone happy. But the point is to know you better, so what’s the point of going to tons of trouble to look like someone you’re not (or not always are)?

If they can’t take that plain everyday look, how will they take the plain everyday you?

7. Waiting for the guy to initiate something

It’s much more progressive to initiate if you’re interested, no? Why wait for someone, especially if you’re not sure of their intent or interest?

Most people are of the opinion that this means you’re ‘throwing yourself at them’ or that you may end up hurt because obviously, you’re more into it than they are. But I just don’t think dropping hints and hoping for the best is the best strategy here.

8. Being jealous or worried about wandering eyes

Where’s the trust, people? That’s what a relationship is about and what it grows on. Trust is an integral part of every relationship. Besides, finding someone aesthetically pleasing doesn’t mean that any sort of relationship will work. Love and even lust doesn’t tend to rely on just that.