8 devious tricks S’porean guys use to make sure their girlfriend never leaves them

In the past, when partners get together, they get together for life, but in today’s hectic world that’s filled with uncertainty and excitement, it’s no longer a sure thing anymore.

If you’re in a relationship with the girl of your life, have you ever given thought to whether one day, she’ll leave your sorry ass for a better guy that comes along? If you did, you’re not the only one. It has nothing to do with trust; you trust her completely, you just don’t trust the other guys in her life.

Here are 8 devious tricks Singaporean guys use to make sure that their girlfriends never leave them. Have you done any of them before?

Fatten her up like nobody business
Bring her out to the newest cafe, burger joint, pizza place in town, check out the latest deals. Buy her snacks and tidbits that she loves. Assure her that she’ll always be beautiful and make sure to fatten her up. Not because you want to eat her, but if she’s fat, fewer guys will want to go for her, right? #Legit

Make her lazy
When girls don’t dress up, unless you’re dating a supermodel, she’s most probably going to appear an average Jane (not that you love her less for it, right?). Tell her that she doesn’t need to dress to kill, make her get into the habit of going out without dressing up and chances are, she’ll have lesser chance of attracting other guys’ attention. Lesser competition that way, and she gets to save on shopping expenses. Two birds with one stone, no?

Spoil her like crazy and pamper her like a princess
Attractive guys are used to being fawned upon by girls, and they’re not used to treating girls like princesses. They’re usually jerks (not really, I’m just biased against them), so if your girlfriend is demanding, they’re likely to be turned off by her attitude.

Stalk her phone, Facebook and Instagram discreetly
Singaporean guys are smart. We don’t stalk overtly because this will make them feel restricted within the relationship, and they’ll want to get out of the relationship. At least this way, we get to show that we trust them while having early warning, should any love rival come forward and nip this in the bud before anything even blossoms.

Post plenty of couple pictures on Instagram, Facebook, or any other platform
No, it’s not because Singaporean guys are narcissistic, they just want to stake their claim over you in anyway possible. So lovey-dovey pictures are definitely in the pipeline. Girls, here’s a tip too. If guys keep uploading pictures of you and him together online, it means he’s serious about you. Like serious, serious.

Be the perfect boyfriend
Singapore’s small and safe, but your boyfriend still send you home every night. You’re earning money for yourself, but he still treats you to good dinners even when he’s earning lesser than you. It’s late at night but he still makes the trip to see you, even though he’s tired as hell. Basically, be everything you want in a relationship. That’s why you see Singaporean guys carrying lady handbags walking around on the street.

Taking interest in your interest
He hates working out but he’s willing to go with you to the gym. Or maybe he hates shopping but he still goes with you on your trips. It’s not because he’s liking them for your sake. It’s just that the more time you spend with him, the less chance there are for other guys to zero in on you. Yup, it doesn’t hurt that you’ll be touched by his willingness to indulge you.

Get you to sign for a flat
After talking about the future, you will be talking about getting a house. It’ll be subtle, it’ll be devious and before you know it, you’re waiting to get your keys. First, it’ll be your dream location, then it’ll be exciting news about new development in the area.

It’ll be followed by, I’m not sure if there’s going to be any more developments in the near future and both of you decide to ballot for it. Then you’ll find yourself going through the process, and by the time you wake up your idea and comprehend the entire situation, breaking off the relationship means the loss of $2,000 at the very least, or $30,000 if you’ve selected the flat.

And the previous 7 points? About treating you well, fattening you up, being perfect and all that? Consider that phase over. There’s nothing you can do about it anyway. He’ll encourage you to slim down to fit into the wedding gown and pretty yourself up for him again; not to mention he’ll no longer treat you like a princess, you’re lucky if he doesn’t treat you like a maid. Serious.

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This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying:
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This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying: