8 Things We Never Knew About Vegetarians

How do vegetarians stand not eating meat? There is nothing more delicious than meat. The scrumptious taste of fried chicken drumsticks, the toothsome aroma of curry fish head, the delightful sight of an entire roasted Pekin duck fresh from the oven… then we have this friend of ours who decides that he/she would rather eat vegetables that taste inedible instead.

It’s intriguing. They are going against the forces of nature. They are fighting a losing battle. But they still soldier on, months after months, years after years, until they eat up all the vegetables in the world. Then they move on to eating up all the fruits, seeds and nuts.

As their good friend, it is our duty to do something. We need to feed them well. They are malnourished. So, once in a while, we’d try to tempt them into eating some meat. We’d put a tasty and protein-packed piece of sardine on their plate of soggy vegetables and encourage them to eat it.

“We know it has gills, scales, fins and everything,” we’d say truthfully. “But it’s really a new breed of vegetable called fishytable. It’s good for your health. Trust us.”

“Lies,” they’d reply. “I see the eyes staring back at me. “Pass me the broccoli instead. The real vegetable.”

My vegetarian friends thus remained a fascination to me. How do they stay so calm and steadfast in their decision to cut out an entire food group from their daily diet? Don’t they ever give in to temptation? What makes them different from all the other herbivores out there? Here are a few answers that will shed some light on the mystery:

1) Why are you a vegetarian?
– My mom is a vegetarian. She’s the one who does all the cooking and I’m the one eating up all her food. So I became a vegetarian from the spillover effect.
– My grandparents are vegetarians. My parents are vegetarians. It’s now my turn to carry on this fine and noble tradition.
– Religion.
– Health reasons. Meat was my life. Since the day I was born, I ate not a stick of vegetable. Then one day, my doctor told me that that I’d eaten enough meat to feed a small country. Unless I made some drastic changes to my diet and made them soon, I was going to suffer from diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, eczema, migraine, stroke, heart attack and a whole list of other horrible and deathly ailments.
– When I was little and impressionable, my kindly teacher showed my class a video of how chickens were slaughtered for food. I had a pet chicken at home at that time. I imagined it to be the tasty and delicious roasted chicken in the video. It put me off meat forever.
– Because my soulmate is a vegetarian. I was fated to become a vegetarian.

2) Have you eaten meat before?
Yes. When I was little.

3) Do you want to eat this piece of meat?
Thee shalt not tempt thou. Thou shalt not be tempted by thee.

4) But won’t you lack essential minerals if you cut out a whole portion of food from your diet?
Yes. But I have faith in Vegetablehood. I believe that there are definitely cheaper, blander and more tasteless alternatives around. Here, try some of these black sesame seeds. They will get stuck in the gaps between your teeth and make your hair turn black.

5) But weren’t humans meant to eat meat?
Can you pretend that I’m a zebra or a snowman or something? I can attach this carrot to my nose to make it more convincing.

6) How do you know that plants don’t have feelings too?
I hope they don’t. I eat them all the time.

Ah Hock loved Michelle and asked her, ‘Ai stead mai?’ in the 90s. Today, he tried again but would it work? Prepare some tissue paper and watch their love story here:

7) This meat is already dead.
Yes it is. Can you eat it for me, please? I’ll eat your vegetables to make up for it.

8) Don’t you ever feel deprived?
I am a glutton for punishment.

 

A few great vegetarians from history include Albert Einstein, Mohandas Gandhi, Guatama Buddha, Pythagoras, Plato, Mark Twain and Voltaire.

The Goody Feed Team comprises either several in-house writers or an individual in-house writer who prefers to stay anonymous. The reason to stay anonymous is simple: a writer won’t want his girlfriend to read an article like “10 things boyfriends hate about their girlfriends”, right?