Yes, my distant Beliebers, the man you all worship like a modern Jesus is going to be taken away, and it’s not even to Selena Gomez.
Instead, Justin is reported to have been engaged to Hailey Baldwin after one month of whirlwind courtship, following a previous dating period in 2016.
…did he just steal Amos Yee’s look?
Yeah, we get it; it’s totally hard to digest. It’s like trying to eat a broccoli, and realising that you’re actually eating a cauliflower: it’s just impossible to comprehend.
But as such, we’ve derived the basic information, and dispersed them in a ‘Justin Bieber Gets Engaged For Dummies’ Style, so that you can get up to date with whatever your golden-haired Jesus is doing nowadays. So without further ado…
Let’s get the Bieber show on the road.
In order to have long hair and still look manly – oh, wait.
That’s not what you’re here for? Okay, moving on.