Lizards. Where do I even start?
Essentially cold-blooded reptiles with a rabid thirst for insects, lizards are believed to have protected human households as far back as the ancient ages.
“Oh nozzz,” whined a female Eskimo. “Thosezz annoyingzz flieszzz are backzz inzz ourzz igloozz!”
“Can you talk properly?” her male companion demanded. “Are you retarded or something?”
“Uwu, babyzz iszz cryingzz nowzz.”
“Why did I ever apply for an igloo with you? But anyway, where’s that damn fly?”
“Therezz, inzz thezz shavedzz icezz bingsoozz.”
Without another word, the male Eskimo retrieved an icebox from his side pocket.
“I’ve raised you for this,” he kissed the icebox. “Go… Lizardon!” He opened it, and a lizard leapt out.
And YET, lizards aren’t exactly devout protectors either. Despite their prolific insect hunting abilities, they’re known to have a serious bowel issue.
“Dammit, those lizards have been pooping on the walls again,” my mum once complained.
They cause men to commit adultery too.
M’sian Man Caught Sleeping With 2 Women Said He Was Scared Of Lizard In His Room
Thought the entire headline was bollocks?
Well, you’re not alone.