The other day, my nephew looked at me with bright eyes and asked:
“Uncle, what’s in store for us in the future? Will it be happiness? Will the world be a better place?”
In response, I simply grinned and said:
“Yep little one. The world will be a better place, for sure.”
I fist-bumped him, and his innocent chuckle validated everything.
Yeah, the world will be a better place. Definitely.
Fast forward a couple of days, and I’m sitting on my chair writing on the following article headline:
51YO Thai Woman Sent To Hospital With Cucumber Up Her Privates; Said It Was An Accident
51YO Thai Woman Sent To Hospital With Cucumber Up Her Privates, Says It Was An Accident
Truth be told, I’ve written on a lot of weird topics before. Like a lot. But this particular topic I’m writing on right now?
It takes the cake. It definitely takes the cake.
Like seriously, WTF AM I WRITING ON RIGHT NOW?
Anyways, the story starts when a 51-year-old woman from Bangkok, Thailand, was sent to the hospital, complaining about pain in her vagina.
According to The Thaiger, she told the doctors that it was because she accidentally fell down in her house. And somehow, somehow, there was a goddamn cucumber just nestling in that exact spot she fell on.
And so naturally, the cucumber was shoved up her…there. Cos physics. And also the notion that there was probably lubricant stuck right up her…there.
Apparently, it “simply slipped inside her”, and “it was just an accident”.
My dear nephew, if you’re reading this, please buy a ticket to Mars and stay there forever.