Here’s why someone you love so much can suddenly become a total stranger within days

Last Updated on 2016-05-20 , 11:34 am

Have you ever been in a relationship you thought would never end? Have you ever thought that perhaps the both of you would end up happily ever after but somehow, it didn’t happen? I have and I have to tell you, it was the most heart-wrenching thing ever.

Even now, I sometimes reminisce and wonder what went wrong. Deep down inside though, you just know it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. The love was still there when we parted but any feelings of wanting to stay amicable got swept out of the door the very next day.

And it’s neither party’s fault. If for some reason you are reading this and thinking “Hey, this is exactly what’s happening to me right now”, don’t go all hate on yourself or him. Or her. It’s a very simple logic actually. When the both of you were in love so very deeply, you never thought you would see the day that the two of you would ever be apart.

This then gives us a sort of false hope which would ultimately result in a lot, or some, pain because nobody would know how to deal with ending things off. It’s unavoidable! You guys never thought this day would come around anyway!

This break up though, it might be the worst ever break up in your entire life. Why? Well, because you guys never saw it coming? And that long dragged out idea would leave you in shambles. Because one fine day, either one of you or both of you will wake up and realise this relationship isn’t going anywhere anymore and decide that perhaps it’s time to let go. And then you take forever to think of the best way to let it out to each other without hurting each other too much.

You know that’s not going to happen right? What kind of break up in history has ever been a happy one? A relief perhaps but never happy. Then comes the most upsetting part. The “let’s talk” and “perhaps we should go our separate ways. I love you but this isn’t working anymore” part. How do you even say those phrases without bursting out into tears? But you stay strong till the end and then comes the pleading from the other party to not let go (this is unless it’s a one-sided decision to end things). A lot of back and forth afterwards, it’s final and the both of you leave, vowing to still stay friends.

Then it hits the both of you. It’s over. You will probably never get to see each other again. Did I make the right decision? But whatever it could have been, a decision was made and there’s no turning back. You start hating yourself for hurting him/her. He/She starts hating himself/herself for not being able to keep the both of you together. And then suddenly, the both of you start hating on each other, blaming each other for not being adequate enough to make the relationship work.

That’s when the both of you will somehow decide that you don’t want to have anything to do with each other anymore and make a subconscious effort to never contact each other ever again. Remember, we are talking about all these happening within a few days.

And don’t get me wrong! I am not saying that this will happen to ALL lovey dovey couples. Honestly though, if you are young and know almost surely that you still don’t really know what you want and what you will be in the near future, but are in such a relationship, maybe, just maybe, you might be familiar with this process.

You know they say “it’s only when you have loved so deep that you can hate as much”. Then again, they also say “Time heals all wounds”. Painful as it may be, the episode will pass. Perhaps you will never ever talk to each other again but hey, those were some good memories weren’t they? At least you can say that you have truly loved and lost.