LADIES: 6 ways to keep a relationship strong when your BF is in NS

Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:43 pm

It’s so inevitable that there’s even Mandarin phrase coined for this phenomenon: 兵变. What happens is this: guy goes NS, girl gets bored, someone better comes in to feel in the gap, and the NS boyfriend gets ditched.

Talk about a “绿帽” that a guy has to wear during NS.

How do you avoid that? These is my advice; since I’ve dated someone who has been through NS before, no doubt it should be taken a tad more serious, right?

1. Understand the NS timeframe
NS in Singapore isn’t like in other countries where people are deployed to another state for months; they get to book out every weekend. Also, there are two phases: training phase and unit phase. Granted that the training phase is usually more intensive with longer hours and many “no-time-to-reply-your-message” hours, everything will be fine during unit phase.
During unit phase, that boyfriend of yours is usually so free that he’ll have more off-days and leaves than a typical employee…which is the next point: EMPLOYEE.

2. Understand that it’s just about the differences in schedule
No, really—you see, being in NS mean one is a full-time “employee” of an organization. Usually, the girlfriend is still a student. Let’s look at the maths:
Student: 4 hours per day in school
Employee: At least 9 hours per day in work (if one is lucky)
Having said that, it just means the couple now have different working hours. In other words, if you’re a girlfriend who is an employee too, you won’t feel much difference.
The whole point is this: your boyfriend is not gone more often. He has just started work earlier. You’re the one who has more time, not that he’s the one who has less time.

3. Cherish weekends and nights-out
You have an assignment due next week? Complete it during the weekdays. You need to go to the gym? Go during weekdays.
Leave the weekends for your boyfriend. Even if he’s not free, you’ll have some free time during the weekends.
I know it can be frustrating, but this is exactly the reason why working adults look forward to Friday so much: weekends are the only days they can rest and have fun. Why not just do it with your boyfriend? While it used to be that you can have fun on weekdays, you’ve to understand that growing up means having to accept changes, and this is one change that comes to you earlier than someone who does not have a boyfriend in NS.

4. Do everything together during the weekends
Going to Beach road to buy army stuff isn’t the prefect date you have in mind, but if all you want is just a candlelight dinner every weekend, then you should reflect on yourself. The last I know, loving someone means spending quality time with him—and it’s not the things you do, but the love you share.
And you’ll also see many girlfriends in Beach Road. One thing’s for sure: these are the girls who stay.

5. Make sure everyone knows you’re attached
Have him in your Facebook profile, and whenever you meet a new friend, try to find a way to talk about your awesome boyfriend who is running 5 km in battle gears. It’s not to show off, but to tell others that you’re attached so that you won’t receive so many advances.
But of course, despite having less advances, everything boils down to the next point…

6. Love him
If you don’t love him, whatever you do is pointless. If you really love him, you might not need to do anything at all.
So, do you love him?