Should you wait for a relationship to happen or do you look for a relationship?


Last Updated on 2016-05-20 , 11:34 am

For some people, actively looking around for a suitable person to start a relationship with is not a big deal and possibly even normal. What’s wrong with searching and seeking out Mister or Miss Right? However, some others may not agree, especially the womenfolk. Why should we go looking for love? Why not let love come to me?

So which way is better exactly? It all depends on what you think really. Are you the kind of person who prefers to be straight up and don’t mind getting your heart broken into pieces a couple of times, or are you someone who enjoys the thrill of being wooed? Whatever your thoughts about this may be, there are definitely pros and cons to both sides of the coin.

I will find you, and I will love you.
In our current society, time is no longer on our side. Well, technically time has never been our side but I digress. We have all become too busy with life to even think about what and when our next meal will be. That’s also probably the reason why more and more people are turning to the world wide net to look for love. What’s not to like about possibly being able to find your soul mate in the shortest, most convenient way ever?

The world today has come to a point where it is no longer “taboo” for the fairer sex to initiate a first date. Heck! It doesn’t even matter if a lady wants to get sexually involved on the first date and suggests it outright anymore. In fact, many of my female friends insist that being upfront about their feelings to their object of desire cuts short the pain of waiting and you know there and then whether or not he shares the same feelings. It gives them a sense of control over the whole situation too they say. If he decides to issue a rejection, they will take it in their stride and walk away with their head held high. No one needs to know anyway. If he chooses to accept though, then they’ve got one in the bag.

But what happens if this backfires? What if this sense of power gets diluted as soon as the couple are in a relationship? What if the one who was being wooed starts saying things like “Well, you wanted this relationship more than me anyway. You initiated everything”? What happens if the woo-er starts giving more and more for the relationship only because he or she decided to cut the chase short and go in for the kill (figuratively), at the beginning? What I am trying to drive at is the fact that there is always this chance that the woo-er will be on the receiving end of possible hurt because he or she is deemed to be more in need of the other party.

Come to me my love.
Does this phrase sound familiar to you?

“If he/she wants me that much, he/she can make the first move. I will never do the chasing.”

I’ve heard it so many times before myself, many times from my own mouth. I like the feeling of being wooed. I enjoy the attention I get when a potential suitor wants me and decides I’m worthy of his time. I get to take a step back and evaluate the situation and the wooer and decide, on my time, whether he would be the right one. If I decide to accept him, most of the time, I get to decide how our union should be like. Basically, I feel like I have the power to move the relationship to benefit myself and at the same time make him want to stay with me even more. Those of you who are doing the head bob to what I just said, you know where I’m coming from. How can anyone not want to feel in charge in any given situation? I know I do.

But what if we wait, and wait, and wait, and he or she never ever responds in the way we want them to? What if we try to flirt and hint but somehow he or she does nothing? Do we continue to wait or do we initiate something? And because we believe so much that we should never make the first move, we never do.

Whichever team you support, there will always be victories and losses. Welcome to reality. At the end of the day though, I believe that as long as you are happy in your relationship, it really doesn’t matter who did the wooing in the first place. All that will someday become a memory and what’s important thereafter is how much you treasure and love each other henceforth.

What do you think?