How to tell whether one is a Singaporean without speaking to him / her

Almost more than 30% of people in Singapore comprise foreigners, and without a word exchanged, one can mistake a PRC Chinese as a Singaporean Chinese or a Filipino as a Malay. But there’re still ways to differentiate them! And if you’re easily offended, I’ll suggest you not to read this. If not, just laugh and share it!

In a wrong queue
You see a queue comprising all females and see one male there? Most likely he’s queuing because he’s a Singaporean, and not because there’s a free tampon. I tell you arh, it doesn’t matter what the queue is for.

Count money openly at 3.00 a.m.
I know I’ve done it before. I mean, if someone robs me, the police will find him within seconds, right? And I get to be on TV. Crimewatch says one leh. They got special GPS one, right?

No smile, eye contact or small talk
If you’re in a lift with a Singaporean, he will most likely just STFU (shut the fuck up). Even when he has no phone with him. Say “how are you” and most likely you’ll receive this reply: “I don’t want to buy it.”

Sleep anywhere
What you thinking? I literally meant “sleep” lah. I don’t know whether it’s due our long working hours, or NS has taught us well. Put me in a crowded train and I can still sleep while standing up.

Wear a pair of glasses
Not I say one hor. Statistics tell-ed me one hor. Don’t ask me to cite with APA or MLA, please.

Get offended with this post and complain with self-righteous comments
Are you angry? Want to sign on to be a keyboard warrior? Okay. Here’s a stamp of approval. You’ve just received a pink IC.

This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying:

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This Singapore love story set in the 90s shows you why you should never wait for tomorrow. Watch it without crying:
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