Val’s Day is Coming: Here’s the Science of Falling in Love

When asked what love is, everyone would give a different answer, and some might even argue that it’s impossible to define a word that has such a vast meaning. Most of us have had the chance to fall in love and some, unfortunately, fall out of it. But what about love makes it so special that we all crave it so much?

Falling in love seems like an unavoidable force that comes at the weirdest moments. You were completely fine before, but now your heart is thumping in your chest and you just can’t seem to get this person out of your mind, and you wonder if they feel the same about you.

So we did some digging to find out why love makes us go crazy, and here’s a hint: hormones. Now sit back and munch on your popcorn or whatever you wish, as we take you on a journey of discovering the science behind love.

Falling in Love

Why are you feeling as if you’re floating and at the same time falling into this bottomless endless pit of desire? And how did those butterflies get into your tummy? Well, that my friend, is what we call falling in love. Scientifically, when you fall in love, you go through three different stages, lust, romantic love/attraction and attachment.

Now, lust isn’t really just being superficial or shallow, it is when your hormones, oestrogen and testosterone are simulated within the brain, creating a sexual attraction towards someone.

Falling in love
Image Credit: Clarisse Meyer | Unsplash

Then, we experience the attraction stage or call it romantic love if you please. This stage can go two ways, it can feel like rainbows and sunshine or you could feel like you’re walking on thin ice, it all depends if the other person is reciprocating your feelings. In this stage, the famous trio, adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin control your mind and body.

Adrenaline causes your heart to pump faster and makes you feel like your stomach is in knots and dopamine cultivates an ecstasy feeling within you as if you were high on drugs. Last but not least, the happy-hormone, serotonin assists in constantly creating happy thoughts of your crush, and that’s why you just can’t seem to get them out of your mind.

Falling in love
Image Credit: Matheus Ferrero | Unsplash

Attachment, the final stage, takes place when you get closer than ever to the other person, creating a strong bond between the two of you. And yes, you guessed it right; this too includes the work of hormones, namely, oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone” and vasopressin, the one that encourages commitment. This is when you get into emotional attraction rather than just physical.

Being in Love

Once you’ve successfully gone past the ‘falling in love’ phase, you’ll probably be completely head over heels over your partner, thinking of them 24/7, wishing you could just spend every passing minute together.

This is usually called the ‘honeymoon’ phase, where you feel like you’re on cloud nine, and you have a concoction of lovey-dovey thoughts about your partner in your mind. This stage also happens to be the best part of being in love, because you rarely fight, there’s a constant give and take, and you just can’t get enough of each other; there is just so much love here!

Being in love
Image Credit: Joanna Nix | Unsplash

Read More About How You Love: 5 Love Languages and How They Can Help You Love Better

Staying in Love After The Honeymoon Period

But just like how all good things come to an end, soon enough the both of you will get over this phase and step into a much more critical part of your relationship. You start finding out things about your partner that you may not have known earlier, arguments might arise from your differences, and it all comes down to if the two of you are you willing to work things out or just let it pass.

(Article continues below) Xing Xing is a 34-year-old Singaporean lady who decides to meet up with an online friend she found in Facebook. But it turns out that he’s not what he seems to be: Prepare boxes of tissue and watch the saddest Singapore Facebook love story here:

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Relationships are work, and if anyone tells you otherwise, then they’ve either never been in one or they’re simply lying.

Staying in love
Image Credit: Priscilla Du Perez | Unsplash

How To Stay In Love?

Sparks fade, and it’s up to you to rekindle them by putting in some effort. Go out for dinner, talk about your true feelings, catch a movie or go for a run together, there are thousands of activities you could do to help get back the same spark you once had in the early days of your relationship.

Apart from that, studies also show that making your partner feel better about themselves not only helps in boosting their self-esteem but also strengthens the bond between the two of you. So throw in a compliment or two daily, and it is sure to make your love life a whole lot spicier!

How to stay in love
Image Credit: Tyler Nix | Unsplash

While it is amazing to have someone to take you out on a date, compliment you, and buy you gifts, you should understand the Benjamin Franklin effect in relationships. This theory shows that two people will only be committed to staying together when there is an equal amount of effort, time and love put into a relationship by both parties.

So if you’re feeling like you’re carrying the weight of your relationship, then stand back and let them make some effort instead, because no relationship should ever be one-sided.

And if you’re single…

Fall in love
Image Credit: Clem Onojeghuo | Unsplash

On the other hand, for all you singles out there who are looking for a relationship, go out and take risks, if you like someone, then tell them how you feel, and trust me, you’ll definitely feel a lot better about yourself.

And for those of you on the side of the line, give people a chance to prove themselves, allow them to show you how much they truly care about you! Here’s to love!

Since you’re here, why not watch a video about a guy who lodged a Police report here in Singapore because he was friendzoned? Seriously. Here, watch it and do remember to share it (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel)!

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