Why you must learn to love yourself before you can love others


Last Updated on 2016-05-20 , 11:34 am

In the words of Whitney Houston, “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” And isn’t it the truth? It’s so fundamental. How can you love others when you cannot even find it in yourself to love, well, yourself?

Reality is scary as hell. People judge, mock, misunderstand, gossip all the time about anything and everything. We are constantly trying to fit into the mould created for us by society, by peer pressure. Over time, we have lost track of ourselves and live only to become what the world wants us to be.

So how is it possible for us to love ourselves in such an environment? No one can be that strong or that oblivious, can they? Truth is, you don’t have to be any of those to truly love yourself. You don’t even have to fit into society’s idea of you to do so. All you need is confidence in your self-worth and this can come from feeling accomplished in the various aspects of life from family to friends to work and love. Self-love can happen anywhere and at any time. You just have to know what is it that will get you there.

Here are some ways to make you fall in love with yourself.

Be confident!
People gravitate towards you when you have confidence seeping out from your pores. You don’t have to react to everything those around you say, especially negative stuff. Know your self-worth and stand by it and you will find it so easy to love yourself all the time.

Do something you love!
It is widely understood that when you engage in an activity you enjoy and love, you will always do the best you can to garner the best results. Whether your passion lies in volunteering at the dog shelter or cooking up a good dinner for your peers, doing something you are good at will see your self-love soar.


Surround yourself with good energy!
Get rid of the pests who have nothing good to say and put yourself in the company of those who love you and truly wish you happiness in your life. When good people share their light with you, you will also start to see yourself as a worthy being deserving of affection to shine even brighter.

Keep fit and healthy!
Engage in a sport that will allow you to wash away the negativity of the day. From heart pumping cardio like Zumba to Zen mode yoga, keep your hearting pumping endorphins all around your body to keep yourself happy. When your skin is glowing and your eyes sparkle, it will be so much easier for you to look at yourself in the mirror and say “you look awesome and I love you.”

Let it go!
Take a deep breath, and let it go. When you release all (or most. I have to be realistic.), your bad juju, you naturally will attract positive energy into your life. The results will be obvious. You will love yourself so much more than you have ever imagined.

So why must you love yourself before you can love others? The reasons are simple.


1. Only when you love yourself will you find it easier to love others. (Duh)

2. No one wants to be “loved” by a person who hasn’t come to terms with themselves. It just doesn’t work that way.

3. It’s not possible for someone who doesn’t understand the true meaning of love to love another.

4. If you can’t take care of your own feelings, how are you going to handle another’s?

Although I cannot ignore the fact that these are all easier said than done, it is not impossible. Many of us are unable to let go of the past, of the senseless things we have done, of how imperfect we are beside some people. But what you need to remember is there is no such thing as perfection. You can never be perfect and neither can anyone else. Once you have this in your head and it becomes your mantra, once you feel confident enough in yourself, that’s when your inner glow will shine through and infect those around you.

That’s when you know, you are ready to reach out and share this love with someone else.

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