You’re Killing Your Relationship If You Have These 10 Bad Habits

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Relationships these days are hardly ever about simply falling in love and getting married anymore these days. Now with so many social issues introduced, there are all sorts of relationships, such as toxic and healthy ones. What exactly differentiates a healthy relationship from a toxic one though?

With relationships being less straightforward and more complex these days, you could jolly well be trapped in a toxic relationship and not know about it yourself.


Keeping score
When somebody keeps score in a relationship, they take note of everything single thing that their partner did wrong and blaming him/her in the relationship. This same issue (or mistake) is constantly brought up when the two parties are in an argument no matter whether they are related or not.

It is recommended that you talk about that supposed past mistake that your partner did and learn to forgive and forget. Constantly harping on the same issue over and over again is not going to solve any of your current issues and neither will it benefit your relationship. Instead, deal with issues individually and realise that by choosing to be in a relationship with your current partner, you are also choosing to live with their past mistakes, actions, and behaviours no matter how terrible they may be.

Trying to improve him/her
You may have a perfect boyfriend/girlfriend in mind and you are trying to change your partner into that ideal partner you want but hey, remember this: nobody is perfect and neither are you. There is no such thing as a perfect person or a perfect partner. Everybody makes mistakes and everybody has certain flaws that are unique to them.

Not appreciating him/her
You may have been in a relationship with your partner for years and you may already have a family with them by now. But having being in a long-term relationship does not excuse you from having to appreciate your partner for everything that they do. Everybody enjoys feeling appreciated and important.

The way you show your appreciation doesn’t have to be in the form of buying gifts or going the extra mile. It can be as simple as thanking them for washing the dishes or helping around the house. Don’t assume that they know for sure that you appreciate them for everything they do or say. Instead, go up to them and tell them that you appreciate them – there is no harm in doing so.

Threatening the relationship
In an argument with your partner, constantly bringing up things like “it would be better if we broke up” or blackmailing them with the possible end of your relationship may be a definite way to win the argument but also creates unnecessary drama and leads to a highly toxic relationship.

On one hand, it can cause your partner to think that you don’t value the relationship as much as they do. On the other hand, it is also a form of emotional blackmail where you control the relationship (and your partner) through fear, obligation, or guilt.


Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Well, it is.

Being passive-aggressive
You might think that dropping “hints” or being passive-aggressive is just a feminine thing to do when the female in the relationship is unhappy about something but no. Guys do it too and in the long term, it can cause all sorts of cracks in the relationship.

Doing so proves that the two of you are not 100% comfortable in expressing yourselves openly. Communication is key in all relationships and when communication begins to break down in a relationship, the entire foundation for it will experience similar consequences too.

Not ironing things out
Don’t just sweep all your unhappiness and problems under the rug so that the two of you can come back to it next time when you are calmer or when there is a better time to discuss it. Chances are, the two of you will never talk about it again. The more issues you avoid, the more problems there will be in the future.

It is best to always iron all your problems out right on the spot instead of running away from confrontation. Don’t let your fear or discomfort get the better of you. Get this problem over and done with so you can have a good night’s sleep.

Need we say more? Spying on your partner, checking their phones, and secretly logging into their social media accounts are all part of a bigger issue – that you are unable to trust your partner. Trust between two people are very important. Have confidence in your partner, respect their privacy, and trust that they will do good by you.

Being extremely insecure
Studies have shown that women who feel insecure in their relationships may be at greater risk for certain health issues, such as a compromised immune system. Don’t convince yourself that by feeling insecure and/or jealous is your own unique way of showing affection because it isn’t. In fact, it just makes you seem controlling and manipulative instead. It also subconsciously shows that you don’t trust your partner at all or that he/she is unable to make sound judgements that won’t hurt you.

If your partner is hanging out with an attractive male/female friend, also don’t start getting jealous about it and telling your partner things like “I trust you, but I don’t trust him/her” because that is essentially the same that saying that you believe your partner doesn’t have the ability of controlling their impulses if they did have any.

Testing him/her
When someone tests his or her partner, they start to make demands and throw tantrums just to see if their partner would go the extra mile to appease them. Your relationship with your partner is not a game or a prototype that requires testing even if it were a new relationship. Take the time to judge for yourself whether or not your partner truly loves you as much as you love him/her – it is one of the more exciting things about being in a relationship anyway.

As previously mentioned, trust and communication are important in a relationship. In fact, they are building blocks of a healthy relationship. If you cannot be perfectly honest with your partner, don’t expect your partner to trust you or confide in you when it comes to important matters.