You might not know this: there is apparently a scientific explanation on why spicy food cause you to “lao sai” (diarrhea), but let’s not go that boring direction.
Instead, let’s just say that since Singaporeans and Malaysians like spicy food so much, we’ve more or less known that some food are more prone to bring that burning sensation all the way from our mouth to our butt.
And despite that, our asses are willing to compromise for the taste buds. Do you agree with this list?
For this dish, the look of it might make you lao sai immediately. That red, strong and concentrated gravy seems to go down your throat and rushes all the way out of your ass without even any chemical reaction.
And because some of us like to sip every single drop of the gravy out from the bowl, and then drink a large cup of soft drink, you can imagine how Coke + Laksa form a steamy hot relationship in your stomach before, erm, lao sai.
Mala Hotpot (麻辣火鍋)
Even in a hot country like Singapore or Malaysia, Chinese like this. The hotter, the better. If you’ve not tried one before, just look at the picture above: It’s almost like Laksa less the coconut milk and more of the chilli and oil.
Sometimes, it feels like drinking diluted oil cooked with chilli. If that doesn’t make you feel “explosive”, nothing else will.
Some of us called it McDiarrhea because this innocent looking burger has the ability to keep the lights on at night for anyone who has it for lunch or dinner, for that moment of enjoyment could end up in countless trips to the toilet at night.
Why does such an innocent, and certainty not so spicy, food have such strong firepower? Maybe it’s “placebo”, but let’s just say that if you have something important one night, you might want to have Double Filet-O-Fish for lunch instead of McSpicy Double.
Nasi Padang (or anything) with lots of sambal chilli
Nasi Padang without sambal chilli is like chicken rice without chicken: they go hand-in-hand. And sambal chilli without lao sai is like chicken rice without rice: they go mouth to butt.
The solution? Don’t go apeshit over the amount of sambal chilli. Relax lah, it’s chilli; don’t treat it like gravy.
Curry with LOTS of chilli
Well, any curry: be it Singapore curry, Indian curry or Penang curry (got such curry?). Curry is hot, curry is spicy and curry is very concentrated. And we Singaporeans and Malaysians just like curry so much that we have it everywhere. But what’s worse if that we add chilli to our curry because “there’s no kick”.
But once we drink curry instead of treating it like a gravy, some of us will have firepower enough to cause piles.
Of course this isn’t a comprehensive list: there are more, but listing them down might do more harm than good.
What if one day, one joke misread this as “10 Best Foods in Singapore for Your Foreigner Friends?” The flight back home is going to be a long, long trip.
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This article was first published on goodyfeed.com in 2015 and revised on 17 October 2017.
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