A break-up is really nobody’s fault. But surely it takes two hands to clap.
If you’re reading this, you’ve definitely witnessed sad photos of your friends that are accompanied by even sadder captions on their Instagram or Facebook.
All these on your feeds makes you classify those phases as the “breakup season” where you see people posting bitter or “pity me” stories of their breakup.
Well, most of the times they drop subtle hints but you will eventually have that “Aha!” moment where you confirm the probably obvious falling apart of the most desirable couple you’ve seen on your feed.
You might get that cheap thrill for a while after seeing their misery until it happens to your own relationship.
We compiled 10 most cited reasons on why relationships often fail during the toughest days of being a recruit where strict regimes play a critical role to the breakup.
You spend your free days with your NS kakis
You stick closely to the theory of “all for one and one for all” and you live and breathe on that saying. They’ve seen you getting whacked by your encik, they’ve seen you with your mouths gaping during your sleep, and constantly hear your disgustingly toxic farts during your sleep.
Your bunkmates probably know you better than your mum will probably ever do. Although they were also responsible for the times you got “ragged” , you still love these buggers to death.
Getting blue-ticked half the time
Her messages are probably the ones that you only care about but just as you’re writing the text, your platoon sergeant summons you to the parade square. You left her message unreplied or calls unanswered. It follows with the assumptions of the worst situation on both sides, and you innocently hope she understands.
You are not there when she needs you the most
When she got her heels stuck in the drain and she’s texting you to cover her shame when she fell flat on her nose, you were probably getting roasted in the sun during your final 24KM route march in East Coast Park. When she’s trying to make a life and death decision on some major matters like her career, time didn’t permit you to attend to her distress.
You get really possessive and insecure about other men out there
You think all the men out there are out prowling for your cute, adorable and perfect little girlfriend. The fact that you’re stuck in camp half the time means you can’t even do any physical stalking but you can only rely on your brothers outside to keep a look-out for your precious girl. Little do you know, she probably was counting down to the moment you book out.
Minimal communication with your other half
By the time you get in your bunk, you are half dead from all the marching and countless pumping so you missed asking about how her day went, or dialling her 8 numbers to hear her voice this day. She has probably gotten used to you not being there.
She has learnt through your absence on how to be so independent that she figured she probably doesn’t need you to be there anymore. Forget the roses on your relationship anniversary , you probably missed the date to begin with.
Your immaturity and lack of ambition in life
Strict regimens will probably get you complaining and whine about everything and anything you’re subjected to. Sometimes, your lack of ambition turns off your lady without you even realising it. When you put 10 boys together in a bunk, your natural men-like characteristic of immaturity (or what you call playfulness) just amplifies by a gazillion time.
You focus on the things you hate about each other
You hate how she is so needy. She hates how you don’t put in enough effort to make up for the lost time. You hate how she doesn’t understand that you’re trying your hardest too. You hate how she doesn’t know how it feels like to be donning your mud-green suit or going down the pole upon every 995 calls, with no guarantee that you’ll come back alive.
Too often, when both focus on the bad traits of each other and forget how much they actually love each other, the relationship just spirals down. It’s always easier to critique but it’s never the best answer in any argument.
Unrealistic expectations of each other
She expects you to reply her within the minute and expects you to go out with her every single time you book out. It drives you a little insane but you try your best to accommodate, but it still doesn’t appease her.
Trust issues before enlistment
You had a big fall out before, and you guys were already rocky before you enlisted.The lack of face time and the general lack of trust between you both just makes it worse, any small issue is a potent reason to trigger a breakup.
She just wasn’t the one for you
Truth is, perhaps she just wasn’t the one for you. Maybe the time wasn’t right, maybe he or she wasn’t the right one for you. Because if you were truly meant for each other—no time, distance or situation can break you apart. But here’s the thing, if your relationship survives the teething two years(or beyond), she’s probably the one. Don’t let these gems go.
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