Time is unforgiving. Left unchecked, it will rob your youth like a merciless computer virus, and renaming you into “Uncle”–a term used in Singapore and Malaysia for men who are old.
People born in the 1970s and 1980s: it’s time to check whether you’ve officially become an uncle!
Oh, wait: I think even people who are born in the 1990s should take a look, too…
Shops no longer check your IC when you buy cigarettes / alcoholic drink
To reconfirm, try again with a different hairstyle. If still no, try 7-Eleven instead. If still no, try wearing a school uniform. If still no, keep your IC at home and welcome to unclehood.
Your tummy is ballooning without a change in diet
You know you’ve eaten less as you count every single calorie. But, for some reason, your tummy gets bigger and bigger. Science can no longer explain what happens; only age does.
You subconsciously just buy clothes that shout “uncle”
Guys usually just walk into a shop and buy their clothes within minutes. In other words, our subconscious mind chooses our clothes. Therefore, if you realized that all your clothes are plain polo-tees, and your slippers are white and blue, you know what is happening.
You failed your IPPT (physical fitness test) when you used to pass
You used to get $500 from IPPT Gold annually. Now, you still get $500 annually: from attending 20 sessions of RT. With other uncles.
You don’t know any Korean celebrities
You only know Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok and Leon Lai as the 四大天王. To you, Rain is just…well, rain lah. And you can sing those Cantonese songs in KTV. BTS means “Behind the Scene”, and Twice is two times.
You’re headhunted instead of you looking for a job
No longer do you need to find a job, for companies look for you. Happy? Well, not so, when you realize one of the reasons is that you’re now a very experienced man—another way of saying that you’re now a very old man.
You still use a laptop and a mouse at home
If you’re surprised seeing this sentence, then you ARE an uncle. Don’t you know youngsters don’t use a mouse? Mouse is so uncle.
You’re using Facebook and wonder why people using Instagram
We can confirm this in the office: the younger ones are active in Instagram, while the older ones wonder why people are “Instagram Storying” when they could post an update in Facebook.
You think that people born in 2000s are babies
A person who’s born in 2000 is now 18 years old. Take it, Uncles.
More than one person called you “uncle”
It’s now more than obvious. We don’t need a Captain Obvious to tell you that, Mr Uncle.