10 tactful and effective ways to handle people who backstab

First and foremost, what is a backstabber? Well, a backstabber is a hypocrite of a person who pretends to care about in order to jeopardise your life, reputation, achievements, relationship and so on when you least expected it. In other words, they’re simply a traitor. Backstabbers come in all forms like co-workers, friends and in some cases, even family.

Either way, the effect of being backstabbed can be a painful experience but not impossible to get over. Here are 10 tactful and effective ways to handle backstabbing people.

Avoid the backstabbers
You’ll find that they’re making it obvious that they’re gossiping about you while giving you sarcastic smiles. Just ignore them. They just want you to react and trust me, don’t waste your time. You let them win once you retaliate.

Surround yourself with caring & supportive people
During bad times, you are sure to find people whom are supportive so surround yourself with such people. You’re less likely to be intimidated by your backstabber and it makes the backstabber retreat to see you talking and having fun with a group of people.

Keep your brilliance to yourself
Backstabbers love to steal great ideas and plans so beware. If you have ideas and plans that you wish to act on, make sure only to disclose to your superior.

Confront with dignity
Only do this when the situation has escalated to the point of being a huge problem for you, then you make react. However, do react with grace and poise. Behaving aggressively towards your backstabber will only flame the fire so you don’t want to add-on the damage. Instead, resolve the situation with dignity. Stay calm and remember self-control.

Document
Be sure to document conversations and conflicts that you’ve had with your rude co-workers or group mates, and instead of having them inform you verbally, tell them to email you whatever problem they have with you and reasons for them wanting to lash out. Take note of all the details of your work and project. So whenever you’re accused of something, you have proof to back you up.

Treat everyone with equal respect
In order to avoid being a target of backstabbing, this is very crucial. You don’t want to seem like a teacher’s pet or a kiss-ass, so make sure you treat everyone from the CEO to the cleaning lady with equal respect. You will be less likely to be disliked and become a target of bullying.

Avoid innocent but personal questions with a smile
It happens. A new acquaintance will ask you what seem like innocent questions but are also personal in a way. Sharing these kind of information can sometimes be used against you, so be very careful what you share to others. If you don’t want to answer, just respond with a smile. Then divert the topic to a more general and friendly conversation. It has worked for me many times!

No need for pay-backs
When someone backstabs you, the last thing you want to do is take revenge. Honestly, I know it makes you very angry and hurt but pay-backs won’t solve anything. What makes you any better from the backstabber if you do the same?

Just continue being better
Do not let the backstabbers and the rumours they spread be a distraction. Instead, continue focusing on self-improvement and being better at your job or studies. You already know that whatever people are saying about you are not true, so do not feel guilty about anything. Just do your thing, honey. The rumours and gossiping will eventually die down.

Be a ninja
Actually, what I mean here is to subtly be aware of whatever that is going on around you especially through gossips. Pretending to not be listening to gossips is one way (make sure you don’t comment or contribute to them). You need to know things so that the backstabber will not have the upper hand against you. If they do, you will be defenseless.

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A Bornean girl who starves for magic and craves adventure. Loves poetry, wine, animals and cat naps. An amateur writer determined to bring world peace!