If you had Googled toilet paper before the Covid-19 pandemic, google would be like yo why the hell are you googling toilet paper? Don’t you know what it is?
But now, one google search of the butt-wiping product will get you more results than searches of butts itself.
Why? Well for some unknown reason, toilet paper has become the world’s most prized possession during the Covid-19 crisis, after food products and good health.
If you happen to be one of these toilet-paper hoarders in Singapore, you’ll be happy to learn that the country is about to get a buttload of this butt-wiping paper.
10 Million Toilet Rolls Will Be Shipped to S’pore So There’s No Need to Hoard Them During Circuit Breaker Period
If you’ve made a trip to the supermarket in the last two months, this may have happened to you:
As The New Paper reports, shelves of toilet paper had been emptied out in supermarkets both here and abroad in earlier weeks.
NTUC Fairprice has even had to impose purchase limits on toilet paper, limiting customers to just four units per customer.
That’s why Asia Pulp and Paper (APP), a toilet paper supplier, will be shipping to Singapore 200 containers of toilet paper amounting to about 10 million rolls over the next few weeks.
Reader: 10 million? I mean that’s enough for my family and me, but what about other Singaporeans?
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You’re joking, dear reader, but you’d be shocked to know that the demand for toilet paper here before the pandemic was about 28 million rolls a month, or about five rolls a person.
Reader: I wasn’t joking, actually
Mr Bernard Tan, Singapore’s president for Sinar Mas, a group of companies that APP is a part of, said the recent toilet paper craze does not mean that demand has increased, but rather that demand has been brought forward.
You see, Singaporeans are starting to hoard toilet paper around three to four months ahead, even though their usage doesn’t increase.
So, even if they only use about five rolls a month on average, they are purchasing 15 rolls now, Mr Tan said.
“This frenzy that we have is quite irrational,” added Mr Tan.
You don’t say.
And if somehow, Singaporeans start to buy even more toilet paper, then companies like APP and other suppliers like Taisin Paper, Sanichem Industries, and Grandzo wil need to increase their production.
“If demand continues, we will continue to step up production”, Mr Tan said.
No Need To Hoard
So, what have we learned from this article?
Reader: That there’ll be more than enough toilet paper so now we can safely hoard it without feeling bad?
Why do I even ask you these things?
Reader: I don’t know either, I don’t even exist
What this actually means is that there is more than enough toilet paper for all of us.
So, please only buy what you need so there’s enough for your fellow Singaporeans’ butts.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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