Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:37 pm
A public toilet is one of those awkward spaces where people have no choice but to reveal a little bit of themselves and face up to the attention of others, although everyone tries really hard not to care. While the ladies have the luxury of hiding in a cubicle, men have the convenience of using urinals, but this comes at a price. Here are 10 urinal etiquettes that guys should seriously follow…so that we can all piss in peace.
Do occupy the urinals at the extreme ends first.
Imagine a toilet with three urinals. If you took the one in the middle and someone else comes in, you’re both screwed. If you took the one at either end, you’ll both have some private space of your own.
Do choose a urinal one urinal away.
Now imagine that you’re the second person that entered the same toilet, and the first guy is using the urinal at one end. Seriously, take the urinal at the other end and give both of you some leeway, unless of course if the middle urinal is the only one left.
Do look straight or down.
Save your eye contact for your next toastmaster session or speech. Look straight or down to see where you’re pissing and avoid looking at others at all costs, or risk getting accusatory looks or worse.
Do remove your earphones.
Relieving yourself is serious business; those earphones are going to take your attention away from your surroundings, and will conspire to get in the way of your hands to potentially result in a huge mess.
Do keep still.
When every guy around you is in an awkward and vulnerable position, every move you make is going to be scrutinised by everyone else. Your little wiggle after the deed is fine, but fidgeting around throughout is definitely frowned upon.
Don’t stand as if it’s your grandfather’s toilet.
Keeping your legs shoulder width apart is more than enough to make yourself comfortable. Doing your best impersonation of Yip Mun’s horse stance while peeing is not going to go down well with the person beside you.
Don’t make small talk.
While there have been stories of many business deals being made in the most unexpected of places, I am very sure the toilet is not one of them; especially when you have no idea who the person next to you is.
Don’t talk on the phone.
Common sense tells you that being in a space as small as a public toilet is going to amplify and echo your voice, no matter how much you try to whisper. You also have the small matter of controlling your tool with only hand and subject yourself to potential accidents.
Don’t fart.
Yes, it is a public toilet, but please try your best to keep the farting in the cubicle. After all, it still is a public space, and I believe the possibility of sharting yourself is increased if you try to fart while urinating.
Don’t pull your pants down.
I’ve actually seen people pulling their pants down to their thighs at the urinal. Exposing yourself even further in a small, enclosed space with many people closely around you is not exactly going to put anyone at ease.
Don’t compare sizes
Really, we just want to pee in peace. And we’re not kidding around. It happened.
Top Image: Auttapol Sangsub / Shutterstock.com
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