51YO Thai Woman Sent To Hospital With Cucumber Up Her Privates; Said It Was An Accident

The other day, my nephew looked at me with bright eyes and asked:

“Uncle, what’s in store for us in the future? Will it be happiness? Will the world be a better place?”

In response, I simply grinned and said:

“Yep little one. The world will be a better place, for sure.”

I fist-bumped him, and his innocent chuckle validated everything.

Yeah, the world will be a better place. Definitely.

Fast forward a couple of days, and I’m sitting on my chair writing on the following article headline:

51YO Thai Woman Sent To Hospital With Cucumber Up Her Privates; Said It Was An Accident

…

Well, okay.

51YO Thai Woman Sent To Hospital With Cucumber Up Her Privates, Says It Was An Accident

Truth be told, I’ve written on a lot of weird topics before. Like a lot. But this particular topic I’m writing on right now?

It takes the cake. It definitely takes the cake.

Like seriously, WTF AM I WRITING ON RIGHT NOW?

Anyways, the story starts when a 51-year-old woman from Bangkok, Thailand, was sent to the hospital, complaining about pain in her vagina.

According to The Thaiger, she told the doctors that it was because she accidentally fell down in her house. And somehow, somehow, there was a goddamn cucumber just nestling in that exact spot she fell on.

And so naturally, the cucumber was shoved up her…there. Cos physics. And also the notion that there was probably lubricant stuck right up her…there.

Apparently, it “simply slipped inside her”, and “it was just an accident”.

…

My dear nephew, if you’re reading this, please buy a ticket to Mars and stay there forever.

National TV

When the news broke out, the story was subsequently reported on Thai TV. For some inexplicable, incomprehensible reason, however, the reporters said that hospital staff did not believe the woman’s story.

Wow, the gall of them.

Nevertheless, they did their job and retrieved the cucumber, thereby relieving the woman of her discomfort.

Truth

All satirical jokes aside, several sites have reported the story as true. It should be noted, however, that it wasn’t revealed when the incident happened, what the name of the hospital is and who the woman was.

But hey, not every genuine story has a 100% detailed description.

Nevertheless, I feel it prudent to remind the ladies out there not to leave random cucumbers lying around.

Better safe than sorry, you know.

And the same goes for dudes too. After all, we do have that one hole.

Which will be pretty darn painful, I would imagine.