I don’t speak for everyone so some of you might think that it’s “romantic” instead of “funny”.
But hey, different people have different perception, interpretation and experience, and humour is such a subjective creature that unless you’ve been through it, judgement should be reserved.
When I chat with my girlfriends, I was surprised, though mostly amused, by how some guys confessed their feelings to girls. These are the six funniest (or sad?) ones—do you see yourself doing any of these before?
The waste-movie-ticket guy
I’m aware that being rejected is an extremely embarrassing moment, but to forgo two movie tickets just doesn’t justify the cost.
This friend of mine decided to go out with a guy, and before the movie, the guy asked whether she could be his girlfriend.
My friend did the “I’ve always treated you as a good friend…” thingy and then next, the guy just gave my friend the tickets and went off.
My poor friend had to watch the movie with her large cup of popcorn on the other seat.
The “I have something to tell you” the whole day guy
This is my own experience—after going out with a guy a few times, I can feel his feelings for me.
Since I can’t validate it, I’ll just let nature take its course: if he asks, I’ll consider, and if he doesn’t, I’ve got nothing to lose.
So one day, for the entire freaking day, he said that he had something to tell me at least ten times.
Each time when I asked, “What?” he would look away and say, “Never mind.”
And eventually, at night, he sent in an SMS, confessing his feelings for me, as if those “I’ve something to tell you” are mere foreplay.
But by then, I’ve fallen asleep. Don’t ask me how it goes; it’s personal.
The straight-from-the-movie guy
This guy must have watched too many romance movies. He did the typical dinner-thingy, and after that, when they were alone on the roof of Esplanade, he confessed his feelings to my friend.
Before my friend could answer, their mutual friends suddenly appear and shouted, “Accept him, accept him, accept him!”
Well, at least they eventually got together, and now that he has raised the bar for himself, proposing to my friend is now a large challenge.
The dick-likes-vagina guy
I kid you not about this.
A guy whom my friend just knew from work was having dinner with my friend after work when he suddenly, and seriously, said, “My dick is attracted to your vagina. Be my girlfriend?”
And like all of you who are wondering, I did ask what kind of man he is. Apparently, he was then a polytechnic student, good-looking and a little Ah-Bengish.
Oh, my friend just laughed it off and avoided him altogether.
The taxi guy
It’s funny because a guy once asked one of my girlfriends to be his girlfriend in a taxi.
My friend rejected, and the taxi driver gave her a long lesson about the need to get married before 25 years old, why having children after 35 years old is risky and whatnot.
It’s funny because the taxi driver, according to my friend, seems to be interested. Ha. He asked for my friend’s number after that.
The Facebook-in-a-relationship guy
This is the best. He put that he was in a relationship with my friend, and then sent a message to her.
I’ve seen the WhatsApp message and it goes something like this: “I’ve just made our relationship official. Check your Facebook ;)”
My friend freaked out and I laughed out loud.
FYI, that guy is an outcast and all my friend did was to have dinner with him after school one evening. That’s all.
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