7 Things SAF NSMen Do But Won’t Tell Anyone

Image: Xiangfei / Shutterstock.com

SAF NSMen may seem pretty impressive, seeing how they survived two literal years of hell to tell the tale.

Yet even so, these ‘legendary’ veterans also have ‘dirty’ little secrets they don’t wish for anyone outside of their comfort zone to find out.

Secrets like their secret nightly pajamas, for example.

Image: Imgflip

Too bad.

So without further ado, here are 7 things SAF NSmen do…

But tell absolutely nobody coz they scared xia suey.

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They have a routine pajamas set

There’s an unofficial pajamas code in army: FBT pants with singlet.

And it seems that it’s no different outside army too.

Ask a NSMan what his night attire is and he will probably shuffle his feet and refuse to reply. The reason?

This.

Image: owlcove.sg

Yeah, the good ol’ PT kit’s not just applied for running purposes; it can help a full-grown NSMan catch some winks too.

Although I gotta mention; the dry-fit Tees are pretty comfy too.

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Image: Carousell

Not a NSman? No worries, you can get them on Carousell. 😉

They look forward to Reservist… love it even

Do not be deceived when a grown ass NSMan tells you that he hates Reservist.

Because that’s a lie. A cold ass lie.

As my boss so kindly puts it:

Reservist is like SAF’s very own chalet. We take a hard-earned 5-day break from work, go to camp and promptly begin a merry mix of sleep, lepak, chill and sleep again. Although we might not sleep on beds but on grass, it’s still sleep, compared to working at the damn Goody Feed whereby sleep is a privilege.

Well granted, you might have to put on your wasted LBV/iLBV again, but hey…

A 14 day break in exchange for that and some other insignificant notions, doesn’t sound that bad. And that’s especially so for insurance agents, because it’s the best time for them to plot all their little ‘intricacies’.

IPPT’s the best

In army, one would literally flinch upon hearing the four syllables ‘IPPT’.

And it’s the same for personnel who ORD’d too. Though for a different reason;

It’s one with practical joy laced all over those face lines.

While IPPT means sheer torture in camp, it takes on quite a different meaning in the working world. For example, you now have a legitimate excuse to knock off work on time.

Image: Imgflip

The only time anyone will be excited for remedial training, really.

And if you’re fit, all the better, because you’re gonna get some extra pocket money. Incidentally, achieving the Gold award nets you $500; the Silver gets you $300; a Pass with incentive gives you $200.

Best case scenario? Remedial training with Gold. As Mark Lee will probably put it…

Image: Imgflip

Trust me, there are people who do that. After all, do you know that you’re paid for your RT?

Paid to play soccer even if you can’t do step-overs like Cristiano Ronaldo. You can only find this in Singapore.

Exaggerate things to common folk

Everyone has a show-off side to him or her, and NSMen are no different.

In fact, you’ve probably heard some old dude say this in the coffee shop before:

“Back in my time, Limpei do 100 pull ups in 10 seconds. You leh? 20 in 1 minute? Pussy.”

Which doesn’t make sense whatsoever (100 in 10 seconds? Who’s he, One Punch Man?), but then again, it’s called bragging for a reason.

Image: Imgflip'”

And of course, that evergreen statement: “Aiya, this one in the army I do before one lah, no kick.”

Trust me, it’s mere lip service.

They love their free shoes

See that NSMan rocking a pair of totally new shoes? Intrigued? Maybe you even want it for yourself?

Well here’s the thing:

It probably didn’t come out of their own pocket change.

NSMen, like NSFs, are entitled to a yearly credit balance (if they have an ICT that year), which they can spend in SAF’s e-Mart.

And incidentally, the top pick amongst NSMen tends to be the sports shoes (because honestly, everything else sucks. Except maybe for the tees. And shorts).

But of course, they’ll never admit that it’s free.

“What are you talking about? I bought this limited-edition pair of shoes in an Adidas sale a few months back!”

Yeah, limited edition. Sure.

By the way, these are the e-Mart’s latest shoes.

Just so that you can recognise that uncle’s spanking ‘new’ shoes.

Adidas

Image: SAF eMart App

New Balance

Writer’s own shoes. It has become his choice of shoes for work.

They miss cookhouse food

A wise old man once said this:

Even dogs don’t eat cookhouse food.” 

And I kinda agree. In fact, it’s gotten arguably even worse since the whole health trend, with soft drinks totally out of the equation and the meat having an additional ‘healthy’ touch to it.

Image: Know Your Meme

Yet, despite its less than pleasant taste, NSMen still miss cookhouse food for one reason:

It’s free.

Indeed, in this harsh economical climate, cookhouse meals could really make a difference.

Although in return, your appetite and lust for life might just receive a drastic hit. #justsaying

By the way, that’s what my colleague, Boon Hun, says.

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They miss their NS days

Believe it or not, some do, and it’s entirely logical to do so. I mean; just think about it.

You get everything practically handed to you: food, money, clothes, lodging. And the best part? You don’t have to worry about anything. All you gotta do is follow your superior’s orders and you’ll be just fine.

Compare that to the harsh reality outside of camp. You have to consistently deal with unreasonable bosses, unreasonable workloads and unreasonable colleagues (not saying that you don’t encounter such problems in camp, but still).

Granted, you might have to slog like a dog in camp, maybe even do lots of saikang nobody gives a shit about. But let’s face it.

Army has its cons, but we still miss it.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Such is life. – Encik Tok Gong

Also, cookhouse food really sucks. Not as bad as combat rations. But still. – Encik Tok Gong

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