8 Signs of a Friend Who’s Just ‘Using’ You

Last Updated on 2021-11-03 , 1:30 pm

Hi there. I see you have come across this article.

Who am I?

Well, they call me the friend guru.

No, not the love guru. The friend guru. The love guru is my neighbour.

And oh yeah, just between you and me, he recently got dumped.

But don’t tell him I said that.

Anyways, I bet you have a million questions to ask me. But because my time’s a pretty valuable resource, I’m only condescending to answer one question. So think carefully before you pop the question.

Have you decided?

Well, fire away then!

Mmm… hmm…

I see; so you want to know whether your friend’s a real friend, or whether he’s just using you for his own gains.

Tough question, but I can kinda understand why you asked that.

Shall I get started?

Alright, the first sign would be something like this…

Does he always “forget” to bring his wallet?

It’s fine to inadvertently leave your wallet at home once or twice. It just means that the dude’s careless, and that he’s kinda absent-minded. Might get you into trouble once or twice over the long run, but generally still quite alright.

On the other hand, it’s not fine to “inadvertently leave your wallet at home” a thousand times.

Nobody forgets his wallet for the umpteenth time. Heck, even Dory from Finding Nemo would have remembered by the tenth time!

Probably.

In which case, this would lead to a much more troubling trait than just being plain forgetful.

This friend of yours… is probably just using you for the cash flow.

Now, I know; it might hurt a lil’ bit to realise such a thing.

But the truth hurts. 

Does he always “forget” to return you the money?

Look, it’s not exactly heinous to “forget” to return money. In fact, money seems to be forgotten all the time between bros, especially when it comes to small change.

A large sum of money, however, isn’t exactly applicable in the aforementioned scenario.

If you need to remind him for no less than 69 times before he finally says, “Oh, I got the money today”… well. your best bet is to boycott him.

Because I can promise you that he’ll be asking for money again the very next day, and will probably take another 69 outings to return you the dough.

Does he show up only when there’s fun, and vanish when you need help?

In case you’re unsure what I’m asking exactly, let me just paint you a picture.

You’ve just struck the lottery, and being in a real jubilant mood, are more than ready to treat all your bros to a good meal.

And being a bro, he came, dined and laughed with you.

A few days later, you realise that the lottery ticket was a complete dud, and you don’t have enough money in the bank to offset all the shopping sprees you went on the previous few days.

Desperate, you call your friend and plead for a sum of money to tide you over. You promise you’ll pay him back as soon as possible.

“Oh, sorry,” he sounds apologetic. “I’m actually kind of in a pinch myself right now…”

Being a good guy, you would have believed him too…

Had he not just told you guys the other day that he had bought his girlfriend a Gucci bag because he was feeling rich.

Believe me; this dude’s just using you.

Is it always about him?

A friendship should always be a two-way thing.

While it’s fine to be a listener at times, it’s not fine to be a listener 24/7.

If you find yourself having to constantly hear about your bro’s complaints, girlfriends, experiences and work experiences, and somehow always get cut off when you try to talk about yours, give it up.

Because your bro is just using you as a free, personal venting machine.

Save the physical part.

Does he hit you up only when he’s in need of you?

This bro of yours makes no effort whatsoever to interact with you, unless he needs you specifically. 

For example, he jios you when he needs the numbers for a personal party.

However, if he has enough, he wouldn’t come near you with a ten foot stick.

Now, I’m aware that this concept is generally acceptable for normal friends.

However, if he’s your so-called bro, that’s not a really positive sign.

As such, it might be time to relegate him to your ‘Normal friends‘ list, seeing how he seems to treat you the same way.

Does he put you down or make fun of you in front of others?

Now, attention seekers aren’t all bad. Some could be quite entertaining, and are more than capable of making you laugh for hours on end.

Some attention seekers, however, take it the wrong way, in the sense that they pick on people to gain popularity.

Let me quote you an example:

Somehow, you always feel like a cow in the slaughterhouse whenever you’re with this dude, despite the fact that you guys are supposed to be friends.

In fact, he would spend so much time burning and deriding you in front of your mutual group of friends that you start becoming really self-conscious, even in front of strangers you’ve never seen before.

If you can relate to that, wake up.

He’s just using you as the butt of the jokes.

And let’s face it.

No real friend would ever do that.

Maybe once or twice, but never all the time.

Is he happy for you when something good happens to you?

A real bro will always be happy for you when something good happens to you.

Regardless of whether you strike the lottery, find a hotter girlfriend than him or win the ‘Best Smile award’ at the Razzies, he’ll always be smiling genuinely.

If for some reason he’s sulking, complaining or lamenting how you’re so lucky all the time, well then heads up.

He’s probably just friends with you to feel better about himself.

He’s using you, in the literal sense

You’ve finally won over your dream girl, and feeling really ecstatic, decided to call your bro out for a celebratory drink.

During the whole time, you chatter non-stop about how sweet your girl is, how adorable she looks when she twirls her hair and how she keeps whispering sweet nothings into your ear till her cat got sick and her great auntie Mary had a seizure.

Your bro, on the other hand, only complied to nod and give those wry, little smiles.

Thinking nothing of it, you drink through the night and the rest was a distinct blur.

The next day, you wake up groggy and disoriented, distinctly naked and under the bed sheets (thank goodness). You look around, and see your bro smiling at you.

“Yo, wtf are you doing here?” you ask.

“Oh, nothing,” he smiles. “Just checking you out.

“By the way I phoned your girl to pick you up. She’ll be here anytime.”

You stare at him blankly, and then a knock on the door resounded. Another soon followed.

“Come in! It’s unlocked!” your bro calls out.

Just as the gears in your brain finally click into action, it’s too late.

That day, you realised two things:

Bros over hoes isn’t always the correct notion.

And your bro was just using you.

Literally.

Now, just to clarify, I’m no actual friend guru.

(In fact, it pains me to say that I can more than relate to some of the aforementioned points. Lots of bettering to do there, I see.)

So don’t just follow the signs blindly.

And whatever you do, don’t dismiss your friend just because he/she’s guilty of one or two points.

Nobody’s perfect, after all.

Instead, make it a point to remind him/her.

Although of course, there’s no guarantee that he/she will listen.

Because that’s friends for you. 😉

Featured Image: Tom Wang / Shutterstock.com