Last Updated on 2019-12-30 , 4:10 pm
Wise Old Man once said:
“I can withstand the harshest insult. I can weather the most torrential spit fest. Heck, I can even tolerate a conversation with your Aunt Matilda for thirty seconds. But there’s one thing I’ll not stand for, ever…
“Someone grabbing my balls like it’s a furball.”
Now, I might not be the most ardent supporter of the Wise Old Man’s teachings, but I can’t help but agree with this one.
I simply can’t allow anyone to grab my balls.
See, men are defined by their masculinity. And to have someone grab their balls like a Pomeranian is akin to gender massacre:
It makes us sulk, real bad.
And plus, you’ve got to understand. The strongest man on Earth might’ve muscles worthy of Thor, but as far as his package’s concerned?
They crumble as quickly as Loki’s balls in front of Hulk.
So when you pull our balls, you’re essentially inflicting the greatest damage mankind has ever known.
And Really, The Introductory Paragraph Applies Not Only To Men;
It applies to any male, really, regardless of species, alien race or whether you wear crocs or not.
And to prove my point? Just look at the reaction of this male cat post ball pull.
Damn, Crookshank’s looking pissed here.
Cat Sulks All Night After Owner Accidentally Grabs Its Balls While Bathing It; Forgives Him After Getting Chin Rubs
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Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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