George Yang, Author at Goody Feed

During this Circuit Breaker period, we surprisingly received several reports and comments about non-essential companies that are still operating. We have to remind others that we write extremely helpful articles like 10 Facts About Armpit Hair You Probably Should Know Even if You Don’t Want to Know or How To Poop Quietly Without Embarrassing Yourself, and that we’ve no relationship with the Government. But still, people just want to whistleblow on various companies, and now, MOH has updated their FAQs to include the answer of what to do if you want to whistleblow a company. And most importantly, whether that rumour of people getting fined when spotted outdoors without a mask is true or not. Newsflash: It isn’t. MOH Updated FAQs In case you didn’t know, MOH website is perhaps the most reliable website to consume COVID-19 news, though the language used might be a tad dry and…boring. Which is understandable, since they don’t write facts about armpit hair. So Goody Feed’s here to list down the most pressing questions (read: questions I have as well) you have and translate it into armpit-hair-style English. But of course if you’re so bored at home that you’ve read all the labels in your shampoo bottles, then you can head over to their website to read everything. Can I visit my girlfriend / boyfriend or spouse who’s living elsewhere? I miss my girl like crazy! Unfortunately, you’d have to do a virtual kiss this period, because they’ve said that you can’t visit them. I know some of you need to do your national service by contributing to the low fertility rate in Singapore, but just like in-camp training which is also a national service, that would be deferred. And just like ICT, please don’t siam it after the CB period is over. Another CB awaits you after the CB period. Must I stay at my registered address? I live in a cave leh Some people stay elsewhere other than their registered address, so the instruction is to stay at the place you usually stay in. You see, you need to understand the goal: during this period, you should stay in one household so that the virus would have no chance to spread to other households. Can I get someone to repair my air-conditioner? It’s not working and I’m dying from the heat! Firstly, you might want to read our article on how to service the air-conditioner yourself, because if it’s leaking water or turning off by itself, it most probably require servicing instead of a full-fledged repair. See, Goody Feed even help you save money. You can also watch this video on how to save your wallet with a different air-conditioner mode during this period: https://www.youtube.com/watch?vOD2snI73BI4 (Check out our YouTube channel for more informative and entertaining videos!) But if you need an emergency household repair, like ten of your pipes are broken and your house is now flooded, then you can call a repairman in. However, you’d have to observe safe distancing measures while the repair staff is at your house, and make sure you note down his contact and time of arrival, lest contact tracing is required. And by the way, non-essential service like gardener or cleaner isn’t allowed. Go water your own flowers lah. Can I visit my elderly parents who don’t need assistance with daily needs? I miss them all of a sudden! The short answer is no. The long answer is nooooooooooooooooooooo. During this period, we all understand that the seniors are affected emotionally but the best way to keep them healthy is to stay far from them physically. Video-call or call them to check up on them instead; after this entire CB period is over, go bring them for many good meals. But now, it’s best to minimise any physical interaction with them. Can I still attend centre-based rehabilitation / home therapy? I need help one leh For this, you’d have to contact your care provider—if possible, tele-consultation is advised. It really depends on the context and condition here so there’s no black-and-white answer; call and clarify instead. Can I accompany my elderly parents for medical appointments or to buy essential stuff? I don’t know how to choose the best eggs! If you guys live together, then you can do so. But do take all necessary precautions (even at home), which is to wear a mask and keep a safe distance from them. And if possible, you can buy their essentials for them so that they can stay home and not be exposed to the nasty bugs. Let them teach you how to look for the best-est eggs with just a stare lah—it’s a valuable skill that you can use after the COVID-19 period is over. Can I still go out to exercise? Yesterday some minister said stadiums are closed coz we naughty! For a start, open-air stadiums are closed not because we’re naughty, but because some people die-die have to gather together after exercising in those stadiums. However, you can still exercise in your neighbourhood, but you must not gather in groups with people who don’t live with you. Keep a safe distance as well—this isn’t route march in the army. And if possible, keep an even longer distance from people who are running; their bodily fluids usually fly around like Merlion’s vomit. Would I be punished if I keep a safe distance from another fellow, but that fellow kept on queuing close to me? I’m so attractive that people can’t keep a distance from me. If you do nothing wrong, there’s no need to worry. If there’s still enough space, just move away and that fellow should get the hint. I know because I’ve done it a few times, and I’m not even attractive at all. According to MOH, enforcement officers will assess the facts of each case carefully, including whether there are reasonable explanations for any compliance. Simply put, do your part and you’d be fine. Must I really wear a mask when I’m in public? I receive some WhatsApp message that I’d be fined if I don’t wear a mask! Firstly, essential service workers who come into frequent contact with members of the public (e.g. food handlers/hawkers/food delivery staff) should wear a mask. For people like you and me, we’re advised to wear them as it could “provide some basic protection for others, and yourself”. However, there’s no law on the fine about not wearing a mask, so that WhatsApp message is fake. Unless new measures are imposed tonight lah, you never know. The situation is so fluid that I won’t be surprised if Neo finally has enough of this and installs an anti-virus tomorrow, ending this COVID-19 outbreak within a day. My company writes articles like 10 Facts About Armpit Hair You Probably Should Know Even if You Don’t Want to Know but still forces us to come to the office to work despite it being non-essential. What can I do? If you know of a non-essential company that’s not telecommuting or stopping operations, or a non-essential service still open for business, you can report them to Covid_GoBusiness@mti.gov.sg. By the way for some new readers who don’t get the joke, we here at Goody Feed are indeed telecommuting, so don’t bother to report us. But if someone does indeed check on us, please help to check that we’ve switched off all power points in the office TYVM. What are the 4D numbers this weekend? Guess what? This question is not listed on the MOH website but I have the answer. It’s *Nil* because there’s no draw during the Circuit Breaker period at all.

George Yang

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