56YO British PM Boris Johnson to Marry 33YO Fiancee, Carrie Symonds, on 30 Jul 2022

In the latest, and possibly only, show of Anglo-French solidarity since Brexit, the British Prime Minister (PM) will enter into a marriage with a similar age disparity as that of the French President’s.

(Actually, the age difference between the second couple is 24 years, while the one between PM Johnson and his fiancee is 23 years. So I guess PM Johnson wins… or is it the other way round?)

Unlike his French counterpart Emmanuel Macron, however, Boris Johnson is not about to marry his teacher. Just someone with an undemocratic and potentially unlawful influence over British domestic policy.

Boris Johnson to Marry Carrie Symonds Next Summer

According to British tabloid The Sun via The Straits Times, Johnson, 56, and his fiancee Carrie Symonds, 33, have planned their wedding for 30 July 2022. 

Symonds is a fellow member of the Conservative Party, originally in a communications role and campaigning for Boris Johnson to become the Mayor of London. She is currently an advisor to the ocean conservation charity Oceana, and is a patron of the Conservative Animal Welfare Foundation.

Because, you know, those liberals can’t be trusted to run animal welfare. They’ll turn the zoo into a welfare state.

Details of their wedding continue to be kept closely secret, including their destination. Let’s hope it won’t be in Scotland. They might need a visa by then. 

The couple have been living together in the Prime Minister’s iconic residence at 10 Downing Street since Johnson became prime minister in 2019. It was after he was separated from his previous wife of 25 years, Marina Wheeler, in September 2018.

Notably, this made Symonds the first partner of a prime minister to live in Downing Street without being married to them. This is presumably because Johnson has proven himself unable to negotiate a formal divorce with a previous partner without reducing national GDP by 6.4%. 

They were engaged in late 2019 and gave birth to a son last year named Wilfred Lawrie Nicholas Johnson, a name almost as pretentious-sounding as Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, whom we all know (and love) as Boris Johnson, the man himself.

This will be Johnson’s third marriage, having been married to Allegra Mostyn-Owen (his first wife), whom he met in university, until 1993.

He also had a dubious “friendship” with American entrepreneur Jennifer Arcuri from 2012 to 2016. Arcuri, in talking about whether said “friendship” was in fact an affair, states: “I think that goes without saying … But I’m not going to talk about it.”

The prime minister is evidently unwilling to stay in the same home for long, and would rather leave it even at the cost of “bodies piled high”.

We wish the couple a happy wedding, and recommend expired Scottish langoustines festering at the EU border for their wedding menu. Perhaps they can then depart on a honeymoon to Costa Rica, in the fine tradition for British prime ministers when their country is stricken by disaster.

Feature Image: Ilyas Tayfun Salci / Shutterstock.com