A Wise Old Man once said:
“I can withstand the harshest insult. I can weather the most torrential spit fest. Heck, I can even tolerate a conversation with your Aunt Matilda for thirty seconds. But there’s one thing I’ll not stand for, ever…
“Someone grabbing my balls like it’s a furball.”
Now, I might not be the most ardent supporter of the Wise Old Man’s teachings, but I can’t help but agree with this one.
I simply can’t allow anyone to grab my balls.
See, men are defined by their masculinity. And to have someone grab their balls like a Pomeranian is akin to gender massacre:
It makes us sulk, real bad.
And plus, you’ve got to understand. The strongest man on Earth might’ve muscles worthy of Thor, but as far as his package’s concerned?
They crumble as quickly as Loki’s balls in front of Hulk.
So when you pull our balls, you’re essentially inflicting the greatest damage mankind has ever known.
And Really, The Introductory Paragraph Applies Not Only To Men;
It applies to any male, really, regardless of species, alien race or whether you wear crocs or not.
And to prove my point? Just look at the reaction of this male cat post ball pull.
Damn, Crookshank’s looking pissed here.
Cat Sulks All Night After Owner Accidentally Grabs Its Balls While Bathing It; Forgives Him After Getting Chin Rubs
According to WorldOfBuzz, Twitter user @F1rdaus31 had been giving his cat Jojo a shower when he accidentally pulled the latter’s testicles.
“I forgot he was male and accidentally pulled his testicles because I thought it was a furball! Now, he’s sulking,” he captioned his tweet.
You can watch the sulking Jojo down below:
Aku lupa dia jantan. Time mandikan tertarik berlian dia ingatkan gumpalan bulu. Merajuk pic.twitter.com/F2Z3CegomL
— ℨ𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔰 (@F1rdaus31) 1 December 2019
Moments later, Firdaus provided an update on the situation.
Jojo was still pissed. Very pissed.
He’s still angry pic.twitter.com/zqtttMQHFz
— ℨ𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔰 (@F1rdaus31) 1 December 2019
And it certainly seemed to stretch on for a bit.
He macam masih ada sikit lagi trust issue 😤 pic.twitter.com/9f5OV4Kq2z
— ℨ𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔰 (@F1rdaus31) 2 December 2019
Though to be fair, I would be pretty pissed if I had my balls pulled too.
But The Enmity Didn’t Last Long
An hour after midnight on 2nd December 2019, Firdaus tweeted the long-awaited news everyone has been waiting for:
Jojo has finally let bygones be bygones and has allegedly even started to lick him.
He also reassured netizens that he will treat Jojo with some wet food…
As well as some legendary chin rubs, it seems.
Tapi ingatlah rakan rakan. Sekali kau dah garu dagu dia. Kesilapan lama akan diampunkan. pic.twitter.com/TkP1aubKw3
— ℨ𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔰 (@F1rdaus31) 2 December 2019
“But remember guys, once you scratch his chin, all your sins will be forgiven,” he tweeted.
To end off, Firdaus proudly displayed a pic of his now fawning cat.
Dia dah high kena garu. Mata da start juling juling. Saat ni, aku tau dosa aku dah tak wujud dalam hati Jojo 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/lx9KYNLWpn
— ℨ𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔉𝔦𝔯𝔡𝔞𝔲𝔰 (@F1rdaus31) 2 December 2019
“He’s on a scratch-high, and he’s even cross-eyed. At this exact moment, I knew all my sins are no longer in Jojo’s heart.”
Well, folks, I guess we now know the secret formula to a male cat’s heart.
Wet food, and some good ol’ chin rubs.
But of course, don’t go pulling a cat’s balls just yet.
You’ll probably get some vicious claw marks across your face if it doesn’t know you.
Watch this for a complete summary of what REALLY happened to Qoo10, and why it's like a K-drama:
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