Last Updated on 2017-05-12 , 4:51 pm

Have you been in one of those relationships where your other half has to know exactly where you are every second of the day? Do you get a lecture for spending a few minutes talking to a stranger and then be accused of cheating?

In fact, are you the one doing this to your partner? If the answer is yes, you really do need to rethink your approach to your relationship.

Trust is important between any two people and being overbearing and possessive is the easiest way to make any relationship go sour. If you’re still not convinced, here’s what your controlling attitude actually does:

You beat down their self-esteem

Any sort of controlling behaviour from one party will cause the other to feel that their self-worth is under siege. They will feel worthless or useless and are not worthy to make decisions on their own.

Low self-esteem has been known to push people over the edge. So if your objective is to push your partner into depression, congratulations, you’re doing great.

You take away their personal space

How would you like it if someone else wants to know all your passwords, and reads all your emails and messages? This usually isn’t about whether you have something to hide, but about personal space. Jealous partners will cause a severe loss of privacy and a feeling of being forcefully invaded.

It creates bitter memories

Everyone wants their youth to be filled with sweet memories, but if you act out on your possessiveness, you’ll traumatise your other half and they’ll never believe in innocent, sweet and simple love again.

It complicates the relationship so much that it will haunt them for years to come.

You make them fear you, not love you

Over time, your controlling behaviour is going to cause your relationship to degenerate into something like that of master and slave, whereby your partner will do things for you out of fear, rather than love.

He or she will be so afraid of offending you that they will begin to hate you for traumatising them.

Your relationship will be the cause of stress

Most of the time, relationships are the source of fun and relaxation. Even simple things like talking over a meal, shopping together or just hanging out at home should bring relief and joy.

However, if you find your partner dreading the thought of having to spend more than the necessary time with you, you’ll know why.

You’re destroying yourself

Jealousy and possessiveness can ruin any relationship, but ultimately, the person who suffers most will be you yourself. This is because envy and control come from your own insecurities and the belief that nobody truly loves you.

If you continue feeding these desires by forcing others to suffer, you’ll find yourself very lonely at the end of the day.

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This article was first published on goodyfeed.com